Saga Of The European King

The King waded through the flapping tide of birds, his magic sword, which had been his close childhood friend, cutting them down in their dozens.
“I can’t do it,” said the sword, whose name was Cutty. “I don’t have the strength to destroy a whole town. Please, Your Highness, turn back. Run while you can.” But the King did not listen to Cutty. In his opinion, Cutty was a loser.

Terrorthaw’s magic mirror followed the King closely through the thicket of birds. It flew just out of reach of his sword, and reflected all of the energy blasts that Cutty shot out. The reflected blasts killed lots of birds, but there were so many, so it didn’t really matter. Terrorthaw taunted the King. “You and your miserable gang of dolts can’t stop me now! I am made of power! I have too many hit points!” But the King didn’t care about what Terrorthaw had to say. He’d had too many hit points in the past, and he’d always found a way to beat him. He mostly got him to run off a cliff or get crushed by a load of falling chains or took all of the ammo out of his gun without him realizing. Something like that could happen again.

Father Dominoes hurled his solid-gold Bible at the town’s walls and made a pretty good hole in it and killed a lot of birds while he was at it. The Bible returned to him, and he did it again and again until the hole was big enough for everyone to get through. By this point, a lot of the townspeople had been mauled by crows, so he started to cast some minor healing spells for them because of his compassion. Axe Axewound, Sally Minefield and Colonel Glowfist ran out after the King on their donkeys and kept the birds away from him while they all headed for the hole made in the wall by Dominoes.

The King was hit by a small thatched-roof cottage that was attached to a string of other houses that was attached to the church. Every building in the town had clustered around the church by this point, and Terrorthaw’s tower looked like the head of a very tall and kibbly man. The King wasn’t hurt too much, because he was cool and lucky, so he got back on his feet and kept running for the tower before the birds could get on him. When he got close enough to the church, he pulled Gadfly and Formation out of his robe and whispered to them for some time. Then he hurled them up at the church tower. Using the King’s teaching, Gadfly and Formation told the other birds about the sadness and then all of the birds loved them. They followed Gadfly and Formation into the church tower and attacked Terrorthaw, who couldn’t really fight back because of all the wires in him.

“Gah!” Said Terrorthaw, as the image in the magic mirror filled up with birds. Sally Minefield got a bird with her knife at this point. She got a few XP for that. Terrorthaw continued, “That wasn’t quite as clever as you might have thought it was, King Clown! Battle Station Mode!” There was a rumbling beneath the King’s feet and then, all of a sudden, the town changed shape. Instead of looking sort of like a man and stomping around, the town sort of fell over, bent around and wheels and guns came out. It looked a bit like a big tank, or some kind of spaceship. The birds, freaking out, flew off in a big swarm. They were still led by Gadfly and Formation. They would come back later on in the saga, but not for a while yet.

“Watch out, Your Highness!” said Cutty, as the town’s guns fired and the King was hit on the temple by a flying chunk of brick. He then got hit by lots of other chunks of brick and was knocked out. Father Dominoes rode over to his body on his donkey, opened his gold Bible and started up a reviving spell, but he was knocked out by the guns, too. That was pretty bad, because now no one would get any healing. Axe Axewound drank a Potion of Strength, which was orange and he’d been saving it, then leaped right through the air, the bricks missing him by inches. His flaming axe cleaved a few guns in half, but Sally had been knocked out at some point during the confusion and Colonel Glowfist kept messing up his spells because his mouth was full. Axe started to hack at the church, but the church had too many hit points.

At that point, a tentacle made of haystacks came out from the town and picked up the King. Axe Axewound saw this happening and ran for the haystack-tentacle, wanting to burn it with his axe. He forgot about the guns, though, and was hit square in the face with a brick. He shuddered, but kept on running. He got shot in the face about six more times, but he was almost at the haystack. Colonel Glowfist saw that a double-story townhouse was rising up out of the battle station / town and was going to crush Axe Axewound before he would reach the tentacle and the King. He had an Explodo spell stored up in his Infernal Gauntlet. He shot it, the townhouse explodoed. Axe was knocked right off the battle station / town, the tentacle retracted with the King in its haystack and then there was a lot of dust and smoke, from the townhouse blowing up.

When the dust and smoke cleared, we see Colonel Glowfist chewing furiously to get his mouth clear so that he can cast a Party Revive spell and get everyone on their donkeys and ride off after Terrorthaw so that they can rescue the King.

End Of Chapter 10