Saga Of The European King

The King was trapped deep within the streets of Terrorthaw’s town/tank/body. It seemed to him that he’d been there forever and ever, or at least sixty years. He was stuck in a small apartment with one bedroom, a little kitchen and a back room all filled with old bottles. There weren’t any chairs in the apartment, so if anyone were to come over, they’d all have to sit on the bed, where they could see the television. Not that anyone would come over. Even Cutty could not come over. He was imprisoned in the next room. He wasn’t tied up or anything, because he was just a sword and couldn’t move on his own.
“We’ve gotta get out of here, Chief!” said Cutty, but the King ignored him.

The King had used psychology to stop Terrorthaw from killing him. He did it so he didn’t even have to lie. He told Terrorthaw - by kind of telling him the opposite - that it would be far worse punishment to stop the King ever having adventures by locking him up. He figured that something would come up and he’d be able to use more psychology at a vital moment and kill Terrorthaw once and for all. The King calculated in his gigantic mind that he’d need to push Terrorthaw into some lava, so he was trying to figure out how to do that while he tore the apartment to pieces. He broke apart the wardrobe, he ripped up the stripy sheets on the bed, he smashed the television and snapped all of the TV games in two. This helped him think, and also would get Terrorthaw’s attention. The magic mirror that stood in place of the one window turned on. Terrorthaw appeared.
“Ha ha ha!” he said. “Looks like I was right to imprison you, after all! This is delicious to watch – no longer a King, you behave like an animal! Ha ha ha!”
The King did not respond, he just broke some more things. He hated being in this apartment! He had to go on adventures! It was his very nature!
“Soon, I shall plant my mind-machines in your son, and through him I shall rule all of Europe! I will be so much better at ruling Europe than you were!”
“Never!” roared the King, and broke the kitchen in two.

A few minutes later, Terrorthaw loomed over the King’s son. Commander Flightfeather just stood there, not doing anything. David’s magic belt hummed. It sensed the bullying in the air. As one of Terrorthaw’s haystack tentacles lashed out towards David, the belt shot off a load of electricity and burned it into a crisp. David seized the advantage. He bellowed and hurled himself at Terrorthaw with all his might. He struck a granary wall. His magic belt was pretty sure that this was bullying, so it zapped the crap out of that wall. Terrorthaw hadn’t really been expecting that to happen, so he lashed out with an old Jewish temple in surprise and hurt. The temple just burst into flames and exploded as he hit David, and David was knocked back harmlessly into the party which no one had attended. There was some magic jumping juice in a big pitcher by the table with all the jelly on it. It was supposed to be for the children to play with on the bouncing castle, under adult supervision. It was diluted so that no one child would jump too high. David drank the whole jug of magic jumping juice and then jumped right at Terrorthaw at great speed. Terrorthaw screamed, and David jumped right through him, releasing Cutty, the King’s magic sword.
“Good work, chief!” said Cutty, as David caught him in mid-air.

David jumped all over the place, cutting big chunks of brick and mortar and wood off of Terrorthaw. Every time Terrorthaw tried to retaliate or swat David away, some part of him exploded. Everything looked like it was going David’s way, but then the magic in the belt started to flicker. It was Chinese, so it wasn’t as good as European magic. Terrorthaw, though severely damaged, saw his chance and grabbed David with a bakery. David started crying, because he was just six, after all. One of Terrorthaw’s dread mind machines scuttered across the bakery floor, and it really looked as though it was just about to burrow through David’s skull and make him a mindless slave of Terrorthaw.

Suddenly, there was a crack of lightening and then, standing right there at David’s party were the Adventure Friends, plus Roxy Tripfoot and the Devil. Colonel Glowfist was fat again and dressed only in a thong, but that didn’t stop him from screaming out one spell that recharged the magic in David’s belt for a second, and raising his gross little arm and shooting an explodo spell right at Terrorthaw’s bakery, explodoing it. David fell to the ground, but his fall was broken by a hundred soft rabbits, courtesy of Roxy Tripfoot. Father Dominoes was praying to give everyone a defense bonus. Colonel Glowfist shot five hundred giant locusts out of his nipples that darted into Terrorthaw, ate through some walls and carried the King out and put him softly down with the Adventure Friends. In a static burst of understanding, Axe Axewound threw the King his flaming axe.
“The Devil, over to you!” said Colonel Glowfist, breathing heavily. The Devil cracked his knuckles, picked up the King, put him on his shoulder and ran right at Terrorthaw.
“It’s payback time, Terrorthaw!” screamed the Devil and the King, together as one.

End Of Chapter 15