Saga Of The European King

So, the Devil and the King run right at Terrorthaw and Terrorthaw shoots hundreds of bricks at them. The Devil gets hit by most of them, but he doesn’t care because he was the Devil, and Father Dominoes’ prayers were boosting his defense. The King used Axe Axewound’s flaming axe to deflect the bricks that were flying at him. Then the Devil punched Terrorthaw in his town-body right in the church steeple, and the town converted from its crouching tank mode into its standing-man mode and stumbled backwards. The King leaped right off the Devil’s shoulder at this point and onto Terrorthaw, climbing up his body like a very athletic hero.

A sweep kick from Terrorthaw put the Devil down on the ground, which made this really big thump that knocked over some glasses. The King climbed up onto Terrorthaw’s shoulder and started hacking away at one of his arms, which was made of a string of houses and one horse-and-cart. When the Devil got back on his feet and punched Terrorthaw again, the King jumped onto the Devil’s wrist so he wouldn’t get punched and from there jumped right into Terrorthaw’s church, which was kind of like his head and was were Terrorthaw’s original body was being kept.
“Keep him on the ropes, my friend!” roared the King. “I’m going to finish this once and for all!” The King ran down the length of the church, flailing Axe’s axe around. He was going for the church tower. He was going for Terrorthaw.

Outside, Terrorthaw was getting pounded by the Devil. Houses were falling off of him. The Devil was good at Tai Kwan Do, so it came to no surprise to anyone when he snap-kicked one of Terrorthaw’s arms right off. Some parts of the arm nearly fell on the Adventure Friends, but Colonel Glowfist put up an energy shield just in time. Terrorthaw knew that he could not possibly best the Devil in hand-to-hand combat, so he jumped back, used his last two arms to open up his chest, screamed “Cow Cannon!” and launched a flaming cow from the super-huge cannon concealed in his chest. The flaming cow burst right through the Devil’s shoulder. The Devil screamed in pain, and it was on. He fly-kicked right at Terrorthaw, and two more flaming cows flew right through him, hurting him greatly, but his kick crushed the Cow Cannon in Terrorthaw’s chest and it exploded. The Devil didn’t have time to strike again before Terrorthaw lashed out and smacked the Devil right upside the head. The Devil went down. He was bleeding fire. Terrorthaw, severely injured, staggered toward the Adventure Friends. It was threatening.

Inside the church, the King, finding it hard to balance with all the shuddering and awesome fighting going on outside, got to the main staircase leading up to the church tower. He was going to finish it. He was going to kill Terrorthaw. Just then, he was kicked in the chest by an unknown assailant. He fell down some steps, but did a backflip and landed on his feet down in the main church hall. His assailant and all his assailant friends then poured down the staircase.
“Gypsies.” Snarled the King. “I should have known you’d side with scum like them, Terrorthaw!” he bellowed at the church walls. The King hated gypsies because they were filthy, remorseless killers who spoke none of the languages of men. They had attacked him when he was younger and he had spent a month in the wilderness after they had killed everyone that was with him. That’s how the King had become so hardcore. He had wrestled a wolf to death. He screamed, and that frightened even the gypsies, who had no gods. He swung Axe Axewound’s mighty axe, and three gypsies fell dead. The other five came at him with knives smeared with their own dung. The King kicked one and sliced another’s leg off with the axe, and then the stricken gypsy was set on fire as he fell to the floor. He blinked three times, and was gone. The remaining four mobbed him all at once. Two fell dead, one was kicked square in the face, but the last one managed to plunge his dung-knife right into the King’s side. The King screamed. He screamed so much and stamped his feet so hard that the gypsy was thrown at a wall and then the King threw Axe’s axe at him and split him in two. The axe went straight through the wall and magically reappeared in Axe Axewound’s hand.

Wounded badly and armed with nothing but his mighty wooden hands, the King climbed the stone stairs. He would crush Terrorthaw with his bare hands and put an end to his life-long rivalry. And this time, he would check if what he assumed to be Terrorthaw was a robot or not. Outside, Father Dominoes was tending to the Devil’s wounds while the other Adventure Friends were trying to deflect Terrorthaw’s final murderous lurch. Colonel Glowfist screamed explodo spell after explodo spell at Terrorthaw, smashing house after house after house, but it hardly slowed the giant at all. Sally Minefield tried to stab it in the ankle, but that didn’t work. Roxy Tripfoot was keeping everyone else safe from the brick projectiles it was shooting by deflecting them with rabbits. David was hiding under a table, waiting for his belt to charge up again. Time was running out.

The King got to the top of the stairs and fell as he entered Terrorthaw’s control room at the highest level of the tower. The gypsy dung was poisoning his body and sapping his strength, but it did not stop his voice from being entirely awesome. “Terrorthaw!” he screamed. “This time we finish it!” Terrorthaw, who was covered in wires that were controlling the town / body, turned around and looked at the King. He laughed, and shot him with a nine. The King fell down the stairs. The church tower then detached from the town and flew up into the sky with fire coming out of the end of it.
“Terrorthaw! You coward! Face me!” bellowed the King, and even though Terrorthaw was far away now and there were rocket engines burning, he heard it anyway.
“This isn’t over, my dear King. If I can’t rule Europe by subterfuge, I will have to rule it by force! Gypsies, attack!” said Terrorthaw, flying around in the sky.

And then, from over the hill, came eighteen thousand gypsy warriors, storming towards the walls of the Capital City of Europe.
“Gypsies!” snarled the King.

End Of Chapter 17