Saga Of The European King

Three days passed by, and the band rocked all the way. They knew that they were in space now and that no one was watching except for Carolyn, but they didn’t want to disappoint anyone. It’s not cool to just stop playing because of one little thing. The King’s band was better than that.

Then, one day, the King looked up. “Brace for impact!” he bellowed. And then they crashed into the Moon.

It was a good thing the King said that. Everyone got into crash positions and covered their heads, so everyone was okay when the Moon-dust had settled and they realized that they were stuck there.

Here’s who was on the Moon now: The King (of course), Colonel Glowfist, Axe Axewound, Roxy Tripfoot, Gappy, Sally Minefield, David, Michael, the people in Michael’s band (there was one other guy, and there were these two really hot Jerusalem girls who could rock), Carolyn, Burzum, Leonard Cohen and Ba’al.

The Kind strode around and surveyed the surroundings. At first, he was excited. “No other of my line has ever been to this place!” he yelled as he ran about. Then he grew worried, “There’s not so much here. There are no trees, no people, no houses, no air.” Then the others realized that they had no air. The King ordered Colonel Glowfist to do something about it, so Colonel Glowfist summoned some zephyrs from the place where zephyrs come from. They drifted around in front of his face, looking bored and not giving a crap.
“You guys,” said Colonel Glowfist, “You need to make sure we all get air. You need to put it in our mouths so we can breathe.” One of the zephyrs was like, “Whatever, man. We’s got ourselves better things to do.” Colonel Glowfist smacked that zephyr’s sorry ass so hard that he couldn’t even handle it, so he and all the other zephyrs fell in line and everyone could breathe again.

“This place isn’t so bad, actually,” said the King. “There’s nothing here now, but we could build up a whole new Europe in no time at all,” he said, looking at the two hot Jerusalem girls. “Then we could merge New Europe and Europe Classic into a Super-Europe.” And then the King grew dark and clenched his wooden fists. “No!” he said. “First we have to find Winter.”

“Your Majesty,” said Ba’al, packing away his drum kit. “There are other people here. I can smell their life-force.”
“Yes!” said Carolyn, still naked. “My husband is here. He’s an astronaut. We have to find him!”
The King’s eyes narrowed.
“Ba’al! Carolyn! Would you join me as official Adventure Friends and travel with me on many adventures?” Ba’al looked pretty pleased, but Carolyn hung her head in shame.
“Your Majesty,” she said. “My only desire is to find my husband and return home with him, because he is sad out here on the Moon. Imagine if that were you. You’d want someone to just reach out to you and put you somewhere safe where Mission Control couldn’t hear you crying all the time.”
“That’s a good point,” said the King. “Ba’al, will you be an Adventure Friend with me?”
“Yes. Since learning about sharing, I am a new man. To best honour my commitment to goodness and light would be to ride with you as a full Adventure Friend.” Said Ba’al. The King smiled then bellowed:
“Initiate the Circle Of European Dajhata!” and the Adventure Friends cheered. Colonel Glowfist was reproachful.
“What, here? On the Moon? Your Majesty? Does the Circle Of European Dajhata not need to be drawn on the soil of Europe itself?”
“No. My great-great-great-great-grandfather once initiated Mr. Kung-Fu, the original fighting monk, into his circle of Adventure Friends in the darkest lands of Asia. And his grandfather, who created Europe itself by shattering the continents with his spear, drew the very first Circle Of Dajhata in Africa, when Shaka Zulu joined his party. Now, I will accept the Desert God Ba’al into the Circle on the Moon itself.”
Sally had finished drawing the circle on the ground with her foot. The King took off his shirt, and Ba’al did the same. Both stepped inside the Circle Of European Dajhata and then they wrestled. The Adventure Friends and the musicians stood around the circle, cheering and laughing as Ba’al got his ass handed to him and the King got both his heads in a headlock.
“Plead mercy to your King!” bellowed the King. It was kind of sexual. Ba’al did so and the King went to put on his shirt. Roxy handed Ba’al his shirt. She had stepped into the Circle with the King several weeks before, and she knew the worth of someone handing you your shirt afterwards.

“Now we’re friends!” sang the King as the other Adventure Friends kicked the Circle away with their feet. Burzum looked up at the sky.
“Soon it will be dark.” He said. “We should find a place to camp.”
And so the Adventure Friends, plus one, set off over the Moon and the start of a new adventure.

End Of Chapter 31