Saga Of The European King

The first thing that Field Commander Cohen did was to get everyone to make love. Now, this isn’t the crude kind of love that they did way back when. This was the kind of lovemaking that everyone can do, and no one gets hurt.

To do proper lovemaking, you need a house, so Leonard Cohen ordered the Adventure Friends got them doing that. It’s hard to build a house on the Moon, but Leonard Cohen knew how. He had everyone gather together moondust. The only real difference, if you think about it, between piles of dust and bricks is just the vibrations that keep them together. In dust, the vibrations are all just rolling around and don’t know what’s what. In bricks, the vibrations are pure and know what life is, and what their purpose in life is too. So Leonard Cohen would go up to a pile of dust and he would play some absolutely awesome and sad songs at it and change its vibrations. By the end of the day, he had made enough bricks to make a really nice house. Burzum helped too, but it’s hard to change the perception dust has on life when you are a sludgy orange colour. Colonel Glowfist put the bricks together to make a house with magic, or something.

So everyone went into the house and started putting up their things. There was a special room for the King to lie in and for Michael to meditate in. Michael had told the others about what was up on the Astral Plane by now, so they all knew how important it was that he wasn’t disturbed. Everyone had their own room except Gappy, who had a stable out back. People fed him apples. Leonard Cohen set up a wicked sound system in each room and made sure there was plenty of food in the kitchen. When everything was ready, Leonard Cohen started everyone off with the lovemaking. He invited Sally Minefield into his room, put on some really great music and then they lay down, just listening to music and talking about stuff. They were warm and happy. Sally knew some of the lyrics to some of the songs and Leonard Cohen knew some of the lyrics to some of the other songs. When they came to songs that they both knew, they found that they both had different perspectives on the song. They ate rice cakes with blueberry jam. When it was all over and they were satisfied, Leonard Cohen sent Sally off to her room to make love with whoever she liked, and called Ba’al in to his room. In this way, everyone made love to everyone else. Everyone got to know each other really well, and they understood the dynamics of the group so much better than they had before. Old friends like Colonel Glowfist and Axe Axewound got reminded on why they liked each other and kept each other’s company and relative strangers to each other like Burzum and Roxy Tripfoot really connected and shared some emotions.

After the third day of pure lovemaking, everyone had achieved a level up in togetherness. Leonard Cohen was satisfied, so he put on a record that made the vibrations in the bricks of the house get up and fly around. He was going to pay back the King for all the favours and quests he had done in Leonard’s name in the past. He was going to find Ric and solve the mystery of the city on the Moon before the King woke up. He had four days.

Meanwhile, high above the city, a man curled up into a foetal position and mouthed the word, ‘Alone’ over and over again until his mouth was dry. He was hooked up to machines in his suit. That man was Ric. He needed saving so bad.

End Of Chapter 38