Saga Of The European King

Commander Flightfeather had been interim ruler of the Captial City Of Europe for a few months now. Everyone missed the King and had an intrinsic dislike of birds, but they warmed to Commander Flightfeather pretty quickly. He was a nice guy. He thought of others.

The first thing that Commander Flightfeather did after Terrorthaw’s attack was to set up caravan lines to all of the nearby Gateways into Hell. He had a garrison camped at every one and at least three Heroes in each garrison. The camps were set up so that they surrounded the Gateways completely. Whenever a demon spawned out of a Gateway, Flightfeather’s men would kill it before it had a chance to get its bearings or even tell everyone what kind of powers it had. When the demon was dead, a guy on a horse would take whatever jewels or gold it had back to the Capital City. Commander Flightfeather would then buy everyone jelly and ice cream or a turkey dinner, depending on the mood. Everybody got the idea that Commander Flightfeather was a cool guy pretty quickly.

This went on for months, and the people of Europe’s Capital City became fat and happy that winter. There was even talk of making Commander Flightfeather the proper Mayor of Europe’s Capital City. Commander Flightfeather politely declined these offers, since being Mayor of the Capital City was the privilege of the King and the King alone. Everyone understood and they went back to their meals of chocolate cake and soda. On the day that Commander Flightfeather turned down the position of Mayor, the messenger from one of the camps came by with a frown on his face. He had not brought jewels today. He had instead brought a note. The note was from the Devil. It said that camping out by the spawning area was cheating and that Commander Flightfeather was really lame for doing so. Commander Flightfeather was hurt. He didn’t know that he had been breaking any rules. He thought that he was being clever. Didn’t the Devil know that the people of Europe’s Capital City were eating orange-chocolate and toffees every day? Commander Flightfeather cried then, because he knew that he would have to alter his tactics. He hated unfair fights. He was sad that he had upset the Devil. He always liked to think of himself as a guy you could depend on to play fair.

Tears streaming down his face, he left the gates of the Capital City while everyone was still eating their ice-cream and wafers. He rode out to the nearest camp. He was whispering under his breath and under his tears the whole way. He was whispering, “Stop camping, guys. Stop camping!” When he arrived, the men were concerned. One of the Heroes, a Paladin, ran up to the stricken Commander.
“What is wrong, dear Flightfeather?” said the Paladin. “Can the magic of Jesus heal you?” Commander Flightfeather shook his head. He didn’t know who Jesus was. People weren’t really into Jesus in Medieval times. Why would they be, with the King around?

But before Commander Flightfeather could open his mouth, the sky became filled with beautiful shapes. There were so many colours and forms and songs in the air. The Free Birds had come. They were led by Gadfly and Formation, who had learned about sadness from the King himself and wanted to spread nothing but good feelings to the world.
“BROTHER FLIGHTFEATHER!” said the birds, as one. “WE HAVE COME TO BRING YOU INTO THE FREE BIRD BROTHERHOOD. EVERYTHING IS AN ILLUSION.” Everybody in the camp froze. They had heard about the big party in Jerusalem and how they should be nice to birds from now on, but it was hard to forget Terrorthaw and the Bird Wars that nearly destroyed Europe. It was hard to think of birds as anything except mindless vessels of murder.
“I can’t join you!” shouted Commander Flightfeather through his smile of utter joy. “My duty is here. You should see the Capital City, oh brother birds. It is the wonder of all of Europe.”
“COOL.” Said the birds. “WE’LL SWING BY AT SIX.”

Commander Flightfeather was ecstatic. He had been mistrusted and treated very tenderly his whole life because birds were inherently evil, and now here were all these good birds, beautiful to behold and hear, about to meet all of his friends and neighbours. Everyone knew that they were supposed to be nice to birds from now on, so they wouldn’t all freak out when they saw the birds coming. Commander Flightfeather rode home especially fast, but not before breaking up the camp at the Gateway to Hell. He didn’t need them there any more.

“Friends!” he shouted to everyone who was having a chat and a smoke after finishing off their supper. “I bring you gifts far greater than trifles and milkshakes. Behold! Wonderous creatures the like you have never seen!” And then all the birds flew over the city. Everyone was shocked, then they laughed. Birds were awesome! How great was it that they weren’t evil any longer? It was great. Everyone had a bird party and the birds got drunk and talked about their families. In the morning, the birds decided to stay a while. Everyone agreed that this was a better gift than the desserts and treats. The birds were bright and colourful and intelligent and some of them could sound like the telephone. Everyone in Europe’s Capital City had at least one bird companion from that day forth.

They also figured out that they could eat the birds and their unfertilized eggs, which was a bonus.

End Of Chapter 47