Saga Of The European King

“Hello?” said General Majesty. The Magic Telephone had been ringing, so he had answered it.
“It’s the King.” Said the King.
Majesty: “Your Highness! How are you?”
KING: “I’m okay. I’m fine. I just killed a Dracula and his castle exploded.”
Majesty: “A Dracula? Where’d you find a Dracula?”
KING: “I’m in Romania.”
Majesty: “You are?”
KING: “Yeah.”
Majesty: “So you’re not crossing through the Kingdom of Sharing disguised as a salt miner…”
KING: “No, just listen…”
Majesty: “Disguised as a salt miner, like we planned. You’re not sticking to the plan. Like we are.”
KING: “Look, I’m sorry, we were on the Moon and we…”
Majesty: “You know that you’re supposed to be in position in thirty day’s time.”
KING: “There was a change of plan, okay? That’s why I gave you the Magic Telephone, for times like this, in case we needed to change stuff…”
Majesty: “It was a present. You wrapped it.”
KING: “uh-“
Majesty: “You said that you gave it to me so that I could call you up and we could shoot the breeze.”
KING: “Well, I meant that.”
Majesty: “You just said that you gave it to me in case you changed your mind and didn’t keep to the schedule.”

I should point out that no one else talks like this to the King. General Majesty is the only person who is able to. Father Dominoes does this also, a little bit. Both Father Dominoes and General Majesty were once teachers to the King. This gives them special powers that other people just don’t have.

Okay. Let’s get on with the conversation.

KING: “Both of those things are true. It’s a present, but it’s also useful. That makes it a better present, if you think about it.”
Majesty: “Whatever.”
KING: “Okay. So, I’m in Romania. I need you guys to come over here.”
Majesty: “What?”
KING: “I’m going to storm the castle of the Dracula King. I’ve only got two soldiers here, Timothy and Jacob. I’m going to need half a million more guys for it to work out.”
Majesty: “What happened to the quarter of a million troops that you took with you?”
KING: “We left them in Jerusalem. We went to the Moon.”
Majesty: “You’re kidding.”
KING: “The Chillinous Plains are closer than Jerusalem, so I figured…”
Majesty: “You can forget it.”
KING: “What?”
Majesty: “Mechanicus’ men are still finishing up the fortress here. If we don’t keep them covered, the Kingdom Of Sharing will be all over them. And we’re betting that Winter is going to attack us before we move against him. Especially since you’re late.”
KING: “Come on, man.”
Majesty: “No way.”
KING: “We’re going to free the gypsies.”
Majesty: “Sorry.”
KING: “Aw, come on!”
Majesty: “No.”
KING: “Fine!”

The King hung up. He didn’t need this. He turned to the others. They were camped out in the ruins of the Dracula’s castle. They had built a little house out of the rubble. It wasn’t nearly as good as the house they had lived in back on the Moon, but it kept the freezing rain off. Sally Minefield was being a werewolf right then, but no one else was. She was wearing her leather jacket. Axe Axewound had put it on her when she had changed. They were being tender to each other.
“We can’t wait for Michael to return with the soldiers.” Said the King, rolling his eyes. “Looks like we’re going to have to use the Scroll of Teleport, Glowfist.” Glowfist balked.
“But we were saving that for Christmas!” cried Colonel Glowfist. They were going to teleport everyone to Santa’s house for a party.

“I’m sorry. General Majesty has ruined Christmas.” Said the King. He looked pointedly at David. David burst into tears. The King hoped that General Majesty could feel the sadness.

End Of Chapter 49