Category: IllustrationsFlip the order!
Interlude PART 2 - Intermission wars.
Everything is still okay!
I think it is time to reveal to you the many plans that swirl beautifully around the bathtub of the inner mind, in space.
Here are the illustrations for Chapter One of Saga Of The European King:
But hold your horses and nail down your hats, fellows, because that's not all! Here is the first of many Kingcasts - mysterious objects that play a recording of a particular chapter in the Saga when moved to do so.
And on that same vein, here are some freestylin' character studies of all of your favourite SOTEK (As we call it in the office) characters, except if your favourite character is a girl or Cajun. The man behind most of the voices is called Mano Camatsos. He used to be my neighbour.
Click to awaken:
- Guest starring my housemate (and friend, I guess), Kasia.
That should keep everyone busy for a little while. Is it the required etiquette to tell everyone that the voice workshops are NSFW? They contain swearing and some outrageous stereotypes. Also, canonicity is questionable!
More story soon. You deserve it!
Chapter 2 - The Council Of Very War
After his breathtaking presentation in the Grand Hall, all of the King's guys and the governors and all the people who did their part in the European Kingdom all voted 'Yes' on going to war with Winter. They always voted 'Yes' to whatever it was the King said, because they loved him so much. It wasn't just them, but everyone in the kingdom, who loved the King. They loved him because he was the head of their community, and he never let them down. Whenever something threatened to destabilise or otherwise mess up the community, the King would do something right away, and it always turned out cool.
Also, they had once heard that he had ripped a man's jaw off, and that the man was his best friend, so they were also a little afraid he might do it again.
After the votes came in, the King went around the Grand Hall and personally hugged each and every one of his guys and the governors, because he was so grateful that he could now, in good grace, put an end to Winter and save everyone from being cold and miserable for one half of their entire lives.
The King got all of his generals and closest, most trusted advisors to a secret war council in his bedroom. He had been to war with many of them, and on little mini-sagas and adventures with the others. All of them had found treasure and artifacts with the King, and fought monsters and assholes by his side. He trusted them. They were like a little community inside the bigger community that was the European Kingdom.
The King had a plan. He'd figured it all out.
"We need half of our army to travel to the Chillilious Plains," he said to General Majesty, who was the guy who had trained the King in soldiering and was a close childhood friend. General Majesty nodded, stood up and addressed the room.
“It will be many miles and take half a year for my troops and I to travel there, but I'll do it anyway because I love the King. We -all- love the King.”
He said. They hugged.
"They'll need to build a completely defendable fort when they get there. Maybe even a castle. They'll have to clear-cut the Forest Of Dark Ice for materials. Mechanicus will travel with General Majesty with a load of his best engineers and foresters." This he said to Mechanicus, who nodded.
“My expertise in the building arts are at your handsome command, Your Majesty,” he said.
Mechanicus was an expert engineer/builder who could invent anything and build whatever you wanted. He was from the future, but the King didn't know that yet. They had met on one of the King's adventures and he had saved the day when the King needed to fend off an army of giant birds that would arrive in the morning. Mechanicus built a whole load of weapons and shields and the King's army was able to beat the birds one time. Mechanicus nodded, and they hugged.
"As for the other half of the army, a quarter will march with us into the Lands Of Winter,” said the King. “I will command them directly. The remaining quarter will stay here and keep the peace and protect the European Kingdom. Commander Flightfeather will command them." Commander Flightfeather, who was part bird and a close childhood friend of the King (the King had mended his wing when he fell out of a tree as a baby) nodded.
“Not a fledgling tuft of evil shall trespass within sweet European air under my watch,” he chirped. The King held out some seeds on his palm to lure him closer and, when he was within range, they hugged.
"Accompanying me will be Axe Axewound -”
“The fighter!” said Axe Axewound.
“Father Dominoes -”
“The healer,” said Father Dominoes.
“Yes. Colonel Glowfist -”
“The archmage!” said Colonel Glowfist.
“Aha, yes, that's who you are. And finally, Sally Minefield -”
“The woman / thief, in case you need to open stuff." said Sally Minefield.
“Jesus Sally, we all know who you are and what you do, all right. You don't have to say it out loud.”
“Sorry, Your Highness," she said.
“Don't be sorry, Sally. Be right.”
Everyone nodded and they all hugged one another, then the King started tickling Axewound and everyone then got tickling each other and they all fell around laughing and having a good time as friends.
Then the King stood up and cracked his wooden knuckles and they got serious again.
"Gentlemen," he said. "Let's go kill us some Winter!"
Chapter 1 - It Is Winter
The European King looked out over his Kingdom, and he liked what he saw. What he saw was everyone at peace, just doing their thing. It was a good time for the European Kingdom, because they had no enemies that would dare to stand against its King. He was very formidable in the Politics Forum and the battlefield, and they were scared of that. They had also heard that he had spent a good deal of time living in the wild, and had once ripped off a man's jawbone because he wanted to know how it felt. He was aware of these rumours, for there was some truth in them, and he liked it that they had gotten around.
But then the King's satisfaction turned upside down because he saw something that made him very angry. From his window, he saw one of his loyal subjects shivering in the snow and being cold. The loyal subject had paid his taxes on time, every time, had fought bravely to repel invaders whenever there was an attack on the Kingdom and had been a close childhood friend of the King and sent him handmade cards on every birthday.
'Why?' thought the King. 'Why should anyone in my European Kingdom be cold and shiver so while I am King?' He then got tired of thinking it and just bellowed it out the window so everyone could hear. It made the news that night. The funny part is that even though the town crier, whose job it was to bellow at people, tried to repeat it as best he could, even he couldn't bellow as good and hard as the King did out of his window when he saw what Winter did to his people. His!
The King called a council of all his governors and his guys. They all sat in the Grand Hall, though something was wrong. The fires of the Hall were not lit, and there wasn't hot tea to drink or steaming pig-meals for them to eat. They were cold in the Grand Hall and they weren't used to that. Also, the King took his time in coming in to the Grand Hall himself, and it would have been rude for them to start talking before he got there, so everyone had to wait in the cold. This made them feel the cold more.
Just then, the King burst through the truly immense doors that led to the Grand Hall. He was followed by dozens of little guys bringing torches and gas heaters and big, hot meals and lots of kettles full of tea. They were well organised, because they had rehearsed this, so everyone was incredibly warm and toasty within seconds. Before any of the King's governors and advisors could do or say anything, the King leapt up on the table and bellowed, 'That's what we're going to do!'
Everyone was confused. They didn't know what the King was talking about. No one talked like this in Medieval Europe. They asked, as one, 'What? What are we going to do?'
'We're going to kill Winter!' replied the King.
End Of Chapter 1