The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Saturday, December 23, 2006

The title is a line from a show I watched the other day. It was an old show I think. It was about these aliens pretending to be human. I relate to that.

I've been feeling a bit anxious. I'm just waiting around for christmas really. Another problem is that I don't have any food to offer the guests. I tried to phone the landlord again. Didn't really happen. I'm pretty sure he's going to come though. The kid too. He's pretty much going to have to come round. His life is too lonely otherwise.
The only real problem is Moe. I messed up last night by not asking him to bring pizza. I clean forgot to invite him to come round. It's because he gave me a demo tape and I got all excited. It's a CD though. I haven't actually checked it out yet. I'm not really in the right mood to do that. I'm just going to wait until things are a bit calmer around here and I've got more time to spare.

The kid next door was outside again today. Drinking coffee. I watched him for a bit but I didn't smoke a cigarette. It was the mood thing again.

6:54 PM

Sunday, December 24, 2006

So, it's been really quiet recently, what with christmas right around the corner. The kid hasn't got here yet, but I'm sure he'll be here any minute now. The landlord will probably show his face tomorrow. Knowing him he'll walk in just as we're about to make something to eat and with a big smile on his face put a packet full of awesome take-out meals down on the table. We'll all be sitting around grinning just eating all this awesome food. Maybe they will even bring me presents.

I'm going to order some pizza tonight and keep it in the fridge for tomorrow. I just realised that I don't have any food, christmas or not. I've got a few cans of baked beans, but I hate baked beans.

I think I'm just going to blow the rest of my cash on pizza. Problem is if Moe is working. I have to tip him quite well, which means I should probably order a few pizzas less so that I can afford a proper tip. Just in case. If Moe was working that would be awesome. I could tell him about tomorrow and he could come too.

I'm making a website for my artwork. It's going to have a whole bunch of stuff on it. Maybe it will even have stuff that I don't have on MySpace. Who knows? I sure don't.

3:21 PM

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User comments


o.OmaxiO.o


yay to website!!! :) keep us posted !
i'll send you a pizza if you want
merry christmas i think. not sure when one actually wishes people this... yay!

Posted by o.OmaxiO.o on Sunday, December 24, 2006 at 6:55 PM

Monday, December 25, 2006

"Hey, um, do you like, want change?"

"No. That's for you. It's alright."

"It's three hundred rand."

"Well, I want a bit of change. I want about.... I'm not sure. Hey, I forgot to tell you about my christmas lunch tomorrow. We're going to have pizza. Do you want to come? You don't have to. It would be cool though."

"Uh, dude. I'm not going to come to your house for christmas."

Then he laughed to show me that he wasn't being rude or anything. He just wasn't coming to christmas at my place.

"Oh. Ok. Um. You gave me that demo tape."

I trailed off. This one wasn't going anywhere. I tried to not look hurt. Or sound hurt. I told him to keep the change. I didn't feel confident enough to take any of it back anyway.

Look, I'm not going to decieve you guys here. I felt pretty crap at this point.

I had ordered nine large meat pizzas. The meat one is when they put fours types of meat on. I figured that I would probably have about half and the others would be for the kid, the landlord and Moe. I had three for supper last night and another one later before I went to sleep. Thing is, the kid and the landlord are probably going to bring food so it didn't matter how many pizzas were left over. They were mainly for me anyway because I don't eat a lot of the food that most people eat. As a shark I've got quite strange dietary requirements.

I woke up quite early this morning and had another two pizzas. I was so hungry. I've finished off the last of them since then. I guess I'll just have to eat what the other guy's bring, regardless of what it is. I've just been feeling kinda tired and it's christmas so I figured I would reward myself with a snack before the guys got here.

Are you guys around? It seems no one is online right now.

10:29 AM

Monday, December 25, 2006

I've been on that chat site all day while I've been wating for christmas to happen. On the chat site, I asked if anyone could recommend some music for me. I said I liked Burzum and Leonard Cohen. One guy gave me a whole bunch of names. I looked them up on the internet, but it turns out he was just making them up.

I retaliated in a really clever way. I've seen them get angry before on chat. They are always quarreling. I figured that they are all used to people just swearing at them and being confrontational and all that usual internet stuff. I thought I could use this to my advantage.

I pretended to get all angry at the one guy. I wanted him to get angry back and then totally just not care. He didn't really get angry though. He just chilled. He only responded like two minutes after each thing I said.

I carried on and he said a few things back. I think I got him a bit angry, but he replied in these really clever ways that showed how irrelevant what I was saying was. It was quite hard to see through what he was saying and mock him. The internet does that though. I told him that if I ever saw him in public I'd beat him to death and eat him. He said this sounded sexual.

I realised at about this point that this was their homeground. I told them that I used to be an OP in the one chat room. He didn't respond.

I left and went to a few other rooms. I found the same guys at a few different rooms and tried to get them started there. They just ignored me.

I was kinda hoping that they would try mock me because of what happened in the last room and maybe even quote me from a text file, in which that they had saved all the embarrassing things I said. If they did this some people in the room would have seen how they were. Nothing would be said, but some of the more interesting people and in the room and I would know.

2:15 PM

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Man. I am glad christmas is over. At about eleven last night I was thinking about whether or not to end the blog. I was also pretty hungry.

You have to understand the shark. We're hunters. And we're born to be alone. If we meet some other guy, it's like, I'm going to kill you. Sometimes we have to go without food for weeks. Do we worry? No. We just keep moving, keep going. We're built for stuff like this.
The instincts are really kicking in. No family, no friends - just me and the ocean. The ocean is full of food. I've never been in the ocean, but this ocean is a metaphor. I'm going to eat the kid next door. He's in the ocean.
I can't risk going out there during the day and this happens to be the only time that he comes out. I'm going to have to lure him up to my pad. I'll write him a letter to get him to come out.

Scented letters will be thrown into his garden by me. I have a bottle of unisex perfume that has been kept hidden for eight years. I didn't throw it away because I sensed that this day would come. Sharks have immaculate senses. A lot of the time, when we're really hungry, we can just sit back and smell, because our smell is so good that it's almost like eating. I can smell all the pizza I ate. It's just as good eating it this time as I did last time. In fact, it's a little better.

6:40 PM

Creepy


Dear Ancient Shark

don't end the blog. the community needs you. enjoy the kid.

Posted by Creepy on Tuesday, December 26, 2006 at 8:46 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Thank you for this.
I am needed.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 at 12:14 PM

o.OmaxiO.o


*hug*

Posted by o.OmaxiO.o on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 at 2:12 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Thank you the most of all.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Wednesday, December 27, 2006 at 4:17 PM

chu tu


i would be sad if you ended the blog

i hope you aren't considering that still

Posted by chu tu on Friday, December 29, 2006 at 9:59 PM