The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

I spent most of the day on the floor crunched up in a ball trying to fight the hunger that is crippling me. And because it takes so much effort for me to get up off the floor again, I mostly just stayed there.

I feel quite weak. I had one of those cans of beans, but it didn't really do enough. Also, I hate beans. I understand you guys probably don't believe me about my plans to eat the kid next door. You don't have to believe me. I've thought it through quite well.

This morning I threw the letter into next door's garden as bait for that kid. It is a convincing letter, it plays on my knowledge of people. I've been watching out of the window for some action, but it has just been lying there the whole time. I think he might know it's there and is just biding his time. He's probably waiting to catch me looking to see if he's got it yet. He won't. You can't see me throught the slit in the curtains. I've done tests.

I've been worried sick the whole day. And I'm really hungry. I haven't eaten in ages and there is no one around to help me out. Everyone has abandoned me. I don't have any cash to order pizza. I gave it all to Moe last time. I guess I was trying to get him to come round for christmas.
I sent an e-mail to Shane asking if he was sending a cheque any time soon. He said that the not enough of the comics had been sold recently. I sent him an e-mail back as a joke. I said that I was really hungry and would appreciate an advance. He didn't reply though.
I just checked, and the coffee-drinking kid still hasn't gone out to pick up the letter. Maybe he isn't in. A lot of people go away and spend time with their families around this time of year.

4:54 PM

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Hello. The letter has gone. It's not on the lawn any more. I'm scared that people will complain. I'm scared that his mom might find out. What if that happened?
Mothers have immaculate senses. If she finds out that i'm sourcing him as my next meal, she'll flip. She'll completely call the cops on me. If the cops investigate me, they'll find the blog and they'll know that I was planning to eat him. It's evidence.

Someone was knocking on the door today. They didn't stop for about twenty minutes. It was angry knocking. I didn't really mind though. I knew that they couldn't get in. It was locked.

During the rest of the day, I sorted through all of my old clothes. I think I'm going to throw a lot of them out. I think I need a new wardrobe. My friend on chat, the one who likes Leonard Cohen, he says I need to shake up the past and settle into a new groove. I think new clothes could do this.

10:16 PM

Friday, December 29, 2006

In the heart of battle, a shark can attack with such pinpoint accuracy that death arrives long before the first pang of pain. Newcomers often believe this to be an act of mercy as it would take less effort to not afford the prey the luxury of a painless demise.

We do it to deprive them of a final reflection of their existence. Our aims are not of kindness. We wish to enforce our taking as a ruthless absolute. Only through taking all that can be taken in the battle can the kill be justified as warranted. We do not waste.

I have prepared myself for the child's arrival. I have practiced a girl voice and have scripted four different possible conversations. I have also placed the perfume bottle opened at the foot of my door.

Now I wait.

4:14 PM

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User comments

chu tu


you are best when aggressive and plotting

Posted by chu tu on Friday, December 29, 2006 at 9:54 PM

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Current mood: hungry

"Hello?"

She was a young girl. In school uniform.

"Come in, it's unlocked."

She followed my instructions and dared not go further until I gave her more.

"I'm looking for my friend? He fell in love with a girl who lived at this address."

That girl was me.

"It's not surprising. They lived next door to each other. It's no wonder that she stole his love away from you."

"How did you know I secretly desired his love?"

She couldn't see me. I was sitting in a corner covered in shadow. I looked at my hands. In them I held a living artefact.

"I have a song that I want you to hear. It's by Burzum."

She began weeping and fell to her knees.

"How did you know that I loved him?"

I turned the music up real loud and stepped out of the shadow and threw the CD liner notes in front of her.

She threw herself back and trembled with repressed excitement. Shaking.

"You're a shark!"

The music began to rage. It was brutal.

I looked at her sarcastically and mouthed the word FEAR over and over again. My head was tilted to the left.

She tried to gather herself. Too afraid to acknowledge the inhuman nature of my body, she fixed on my eyes.

"I'm so scared right now!"

The first time she had said this, months before, she had done it to provoke me. I had been provoked, but I did not react. I waited.

2:19 PM

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Hey, are any of you guys around?

11:31 PM