The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Current mood: A little bit lonely.

I wish I had a phone so that I could get hold of the kid. I don't have any idea when he is going to get here. I want to make it look like I tried to make it comfortable for him to stay here for a bit. I hope the grocery kid comes soon. Actually, I should probably send an email to Shane asking him to send the cheque early. I spent most of my money on the pizza guy.

I kinda want to talk to that kid next door. He's always sitting in his garden drinking coffee and just thinking about stuff. I really think he's on the level. You can see by how he looks at stuff. Maybe I can throw a note over there and ask him to like, come to my place or something. Or I could give him my number and he could leave me messages.

Well, I'm glad that the kid is coming. It's been a little lonely recently. That's why I started this MySpace account. I wanted to meet new friends. Sometimes I feel that there's something missing though. I feel like my interactions with you guys are hollow because there's no real contact. I can't judge if you really like me or if you're just joking. I'm not. I really hope you guys keep being my friends.

That thing with Moe has left me feeling kinda sad. He didn't even care when I told him that I was The Ancient Shark Of Despair. Hello, I'm from outer space. Nothing? Does this not sound pretty extreme to you? Why doesn't anyone appreciate how special this is?

This one girl asked me to part of her group. It was called 'Sexy Stars'. I expected it to be like the last event I got invited to: just another advert for sex chat. They charge your credit card. I joined the group though. I thought maybe it wasn't a joke. Maybe they thought I was interesting. Well, I haven't actually done any group stuff yet. I haven't really had any time to do it. I've always got something I have to do, but at the end of the day I've accomplished nothing.

Yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to the kid getting here.
5:17 PM

Monday, November 13, 2006

Current mood: Interested

I like this idea of mine. I'm going to write a story about it. There's this king. He was quite a cool guy. Really took care of people. Sorted people out. Everyone was pretty content with their lot. He was quite progressive. One day this king was on a royal outing to find a bride. On the way to a neighbouring kingdom his convoy is attacked by a band of gypsies. In the massacre that ensues he manages to pretend to be a soldier that's been killed in the fighting. The bit before this will tell how he always went in disguise. He always had a knight dress as the king so no one would know about it.

So he is lying next to the body of his best friend, who had accompanied him and is now also dead. He lies there until night, because the gypsies that are still around are just milling around, mourning their dead. So, at night he manages to escape. This whole thing took a bit of a toll on him and so does the next month as he wanders the countryside trying to get back home. He doesn't speak to anyone the whole time, because there isn't anyone around these parts. He manages to survive on like, fruit, berries and a dead owl he found.

He gets back home and the kingdom is in turmoil. He claims his rightful place on the throne and is successful apart from an assassination attempt on him a few nights later. He's still pretty damn freaked out from the month of isolation. In fact, if he wasn't such a cool guy he would probably be insane. So, this assassin sneaks into his chambers and creeps up to his bed. Except, the king doesn't sleep on his bed because he's so freaked out these days. He was actually sleeping on the stone floor by one of the windows. He does this because he thinks it will help him adjust back from sleeping on the ground under the stars all the time. In fact, he's totally hardcore nowadays. That's what fighting off a stray wolf will do to you. Just totally able to stare predators down with your menacing glare. Totally rough.

He actually has insomnia recently and is completely aware that this guy is in his room, so he just plain sneaks up on him, rips him apart at the jaws. The assassin starts screaming, but it's just this animalistic squeal cos he hasn't really got any control over the sounds he makes anymore. But it doesn't matter how loud this guy tries to scream because the king would already be screaming louder. It's like the king was feeling the other guys pain more than the other guy possibly could.

He just starts hugging this guy and he hugs him harder and harder. The louder they scream together the harder he hugs him. By the way, this king is really strong. He's a lot thinner than when he left, but he's stronger in ways that don't require you to be big. This is like Kung Fu monks.

Things finally start to get quieter as the guy starts to lose his breath. After about a minute after it turns silent, the king starts to loosen up. He realises that he killed the guy and feels really guilty. In his kingdom you can't kill people. Even if you're the king. He made it that way to make things fair. He feels so guilty that when the guards get there he orders them to leave.

Over the course of the evening he decides that he wants to make it up to this guy. He reckons he can do this.

First he starts dressing the guy. The guy is wearing a mask like a ninja would wear, but obviously I'll make it one that's more medieval. It would be kinda cool to cross ninja into medieval times, but I don't think it works for this story. I'm going to stick to a strict theme in this one. It makes it easier to relate to the emotions of the king that way.

He takes off the guy's mask and realises that it was his best friend. The one that he thought was dead next to him when his convoy was attacked.

This doesn't shock him.

You've got to remember that this guy is beyond that. To him, people are people. It doesn't really phase him that his best friend put a hit on him twice. At this point he sees how that was all his own doing anyway. He could see how everything that anyone had ever tried to do to him was actually fully the result of what he used to think was his control.

He dresses this guy in the clothes he is wearing right then. Gown, slippers and nightcap. He doesn't care that its all going to get bloody. What is blood to him?

He talks to his friend about how he sees the world for like the entire evening. The king even tells him secrets about how he was secretly screwing his friend's wife behind his back. Yeah, it may seem a bit of an asshole thing to do, but you got to understand the context. He was the king.

Over the course of this dialogue you slowly start to realise that the king is actually quite a dick. He's not the cool guy who you thought he was. You know why he was so good at politics and keeping everyone happy? He doesn't have any emotional connection to anything. Never did. When he was a kid he killed his dog and told his parents it ran away. This guy wasn't brutal, he just wasn't human.

This is the point where the original idea behind all of this comes in. He gets his royal band to come in and play to his guest. But he makes the band play blindfolded. All they can do is play their instruments and hear the king having a merry old time, laughing his guts out.

The band are playing really weird music. They started off trying to play as well as they could, but they just weren't used to playing without seeing their instruments or each other. They're always going out of sync and always over-compensating for it afterwards. But the thing is, the harder the music is to understand because of the messed up structure, the more the king likes it and the more he laughs and claps and sings his praise.

This goes on for about twelve hours. The band is allowed to take breaks every few hours, but they're used to it because they've been court musicians since they were old enough to play. I guess you can guess what happens to the music. It just turns totally progressive. It's going to weird rhythms and is just breaking all sorts of barriers.

This is why I decided to write the story. I was thinking about how progressive Burzum is supposed to be and I wondered if there were like kings in medieval Europe who were getting their musicians to make the most radical music. All that stuff before was what I thought would drive a king to innovate on such a freaky level.

Talking about freaky, could you guys do me a favour? I've been searching MySpace using like three or four words in weird combinations to find weird personalities. It usually goes something like this: Teenage Pregnancy, Born Again, Christ. (I like to make them run into each other like this, I think it makes it more interesting.)

So, I always hear about these weird invites from people who love cats and hate their ex wives and stuff like that. Can you send me links to their pages? I know it’s a bit weird, but I'm not doing it to mock them. You have to try understand the context. I'm locked away in a room with like four human contacts. I don't get to explore people in the same way as you do. I'm doing this because I want to understand the extremities.

You don't have to post a comment where other people can see it. This would probably be a bit rude. Just message me. I don't want this to turn into something where people use it to mock other people. Maybe I'll write a review about them the same way I do with you guys. Hey?
4:45 PM

User Comments
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Arbot

hmm
i have to wonder now
how did you find me sharky?
Posted by Arbot on Tuesday, February 06, 2007 at 8:59 PM

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Current mood: full

So... Celene.

My landlord came round to see me today.

He left a message on my machine first. He hung up abruptly. I locked the door. He sounded pretty disappointed.

"Let me in."

I hid in my cupboard.

"Don't do this. This isn't an appropriate time. Let me talk to you."

He was faking the calmness. I've know him for a relatively long time. I can tell when he's not calm.

"You can't be like this. It's not fair on everyone else. You don't understand how much you affect other people's lives. Especially Celene."

I was not going to move from this cupboard.

"Jesus! Do you not get it? This is important!"

This bit was really emphasised. It should probably be partly in capitals. I pulled the cupboard doors closed. If he tried to open them I would put up quite an effort. I'm probably stronger than him. He probably knows this.

"I'm going downstairs to fetch the key. This is not something you can just shrug off. I need to come in."

I needed a plan quickly. The place was a mess. There was a layer of grime on a lot of stuff. The taps for one thing. They had grime in all the recesses. I should probably clean it up before the kid gets here. It would be nice. I wouldn't be able to get the grime, but I could at least clear a lot of the stuff away. Put it with all the other stuff.

Celene is pretty bad at being a cleaner. I've known her for a relatively long time too. That's why I don't shout at her for not cleaning properly. She also says she has bad knees. She says she can't do too much moving around. Too risky.

The thing is, I'm not really the type of person who was supposed to clean stuff. I never was. I wouldn't mind Celene if she just cleaned properly. I told her this. She just smiled at me.

The landlord got here and I asked him to help me move all the pizza boxes. He wouldn't help. He just stared at me. Sometimes he can be a bit of a jerk too. Not all the time. Sometimes he's cool.

"Why did you make me go fetch the key? Why didn't you open the door when I was here?"

I think he was over being angry now. He looked tired, but he seemed hurt also.

"I didn't hear you. I was in the back. I'm sorry. My apartment is such a mess. Would you give me a hand with these boxes?"

He looked more hurt. He looked at the ground and then looked at the boxes. He seemed a bit defeated. He slowly started making a pile with the boxes and just didn't look at me.

"I tried that. It's easier to just take them one at time."

He just ignored what I said and kept piling them up.

"I'm friends with the pizza guy. Comes round every friday. He's pretty cool. Definitely knows what is going on."

"Where do you want me to take these?"

"To the back room. Put them down on the left."

He opened the door to the other room and walked in. I took one of the boxes from one of his piles. As a gesture.

"How long has this stuff been here?"

He sounded like he just wanted to know, but the look on his face was angry. He looked like he expected this, but was angry anyway. Like he was saying , "I told you so" to someone who wasn't in the room.

"Eighteen years. I've been meaning to sort it out, but I haven't really had any time to do it."

"You tried to get Celene to clean this up for you? Didn't you? That's why you let her come back all of a sudden. That's why you're always saying that she's helping you clean up every week."

"She doesn't really clean though. She just helps herself to tea and sits around."

It was getting pretty awkward. He was looking at me. I didn't want to not look back at him. It felt like he was demading it from me. That I look him in the eyes. I'm not sure if he looked angry. He wasn't really letting on. He was just looking at me.

"You can just put it down there on the other boxes."

He looked at the other boxes and then looked straight back at me.

"Do you want me to go put some music on? I'll put on the radio. You can choose the station."

He looked at the boxes he was carrying for a few seconds and then put them down right where he was standing and walked out of the apartment. They weren't where I told him to put them down, but at least they were out of the bedroom.

I went back to the bedroom and closed both the doors. It was refreshing earlier to have the front door open while I cleaned. It let the air in. But it seemed a bit weird now. I also wanted to put some music on, so I closed the door.

I wasn't sure whether to put the radio on or Burzum. I wasn't really in the mood for Burzum, but the radio is a bit depressing. I put the radio on in the end. I didn't really have any more energy. I just wanted to chill and maybe watch some TV. That whole landlord thing was creepy. I think I should fire him.

6:11 PM

Thursday, 16th November 2006

Current mood: bitchy

I wrote rap in character of the King with the music.

Don't judge until you've believed
I bounce back from the dead
I'm a king in medieval Europe
I ripped a guy apart from the head

My best friend is a cadaver
and I sit up all night
playing him music
he thinks that its tight.

I'm sure to be insane
its plain I am no longer tame
Nature conquered my brain
My emotional grasp has waned

I once stared a wolf to death
actually I used my hands
I could stop one in its tracks
with nothing but empty intent and plans

I've got this weird glare,
where I stare and people's souls turn bare
I'm cold in there (pointing at head with one finger on each hand)
and I like the words "Golden bear"

The point of it all:
loneliness expanded my mind
This music is going mad
but I can't rewind.

11:15 AM

The landlord usually leaves a message on my machine everyday. He usually just asks how I am and then tells me what he is doing today. He says it's in case I need him and he's not there. I don't really mind. As long as I don't have to speak to him every day. He didn't do one today. I don't really mind though. I know where he is most of the time.

6:15 PM