The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Friday, November 17, 2006

Current mood: Waiting

I spent the day with Burzum playing really loud. I just sat in my room. I had two of my cigarettes. I did it properly. Got a glass of juice, made myself comfortable. Loud music. I heard the kids next door shout at me again. It wasn't the girl this time though. It was a boy. Said something about me being really tough now.

I don't care.

I thought the landlord would phone to complain. He usually would. The thing is, he didn't call to tell me if he was here or not. I don't think he was. He would have complained if he was. The other people wouldn't complain, they're all really old.

I wonder if the kid that shouted was the kid who's always there. I don't think it would be. I think that guy is above that sort of thing. He can probably see through the others. When they shout he's probably just nodding his head slowly with a half smile, plain pretending not to think that its silly.

Man, I hope The Kid gets here soon. It's getting weird around here recently. There's not that much happening on MySpace either. People don't really interact with me anymore.

I got this one girl who commented though. She accused me of trying to 'battle' her friends. I hope that she isn't right and I just don't notice it. I really hate that. When you suddenly realise that someone knows something about you the whole time, but you didn't know until just then. And its been embarrassing the whole time too. I deleted her comment. I really regret that now. I was just scared that she was trying to break down what I've got here.

This community we've got going here isn't rock solid yet. We're still quite young. Her comment made me look like a bad person. If that got out, people would hate me, and this community would slowly start shrinking. Please guys. Stay on my side. It's worth it.. I mean it. You might only realise it later, but we have to stick together. It's too risky otherwise.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Moe....

I don't know if you remember, but last time Moe was here he was acting a bit weird. I gave him that drawing I made of him where I made him look attractive. I don't know what he looks like, I just thought it would be nice and would make him feel good.

I noticed he doesn't really respond well to the Burzum, so I just didn't play it this time. I just hope he doesn't think I'm doing this because of him. I'm not really.

I sort of got him talking.

I asked what his night was like. He just said that it was okay. I asked him how his week had been. He said it had been cool. I sort of mumbled a bit about the landlord being pissy. I told him that he hadn't been leaving messages anymore.

"Why aren't you playing that music again?" he said.

"What music?"

I'm glad he couldn't see the expression on my face.

"You're always playing that same song. You're not playing it tonight."

"I only have one CD. It's my favourite."

"What's it called?"

"Uh. It's Burzum."

"Well, it sounds angry. I don't really like it."

"Well, you know. It's the only CD I've got. What else am I supposed to listen to."

"You said it was your favourite."

"I like Leonard Cohen better. He's my favourite."

"Leonard Cohen. That's the sort of music you have to appreciate as artistically charged and profound. I knew this girl who used to cry every time she listened to this one song of his. It was the only song of his she listened to."

I didn't really mind that he didn't like Burzum. I got him to talk, which is what I really wanted from him. I don't really know much Leonard Cohen. I've only really read up about him on the internet. I haven't actually listened to any of his songs.

"Yeah. I can appreciate Leonard Cohen properly. I can 'get' stuff like that pretty easily. I'm usually the guy who likes stuff before other people do."

Actually, one of the people on chat said this. But I'm sure that I'm also like that with other stuff. It's just that I don't really have enough time to keep up that sort of hobby. The problem with music is, no matter how good you are at it, you can't do it any faster than other people.

"Yeah. It's okay. I make my own music. Listen, I have to go. I'm going to grab that money and leave."

"It was nice to see you again. I think you make really good music. You should definitely get into that. It's your thing."

I really meant it too. I wasn't just saying this the way most people just say things out of habit, I really wanted to tell him how good I thought he was. You can really tell when you speak to him that he's on the level. I think he'd get Leonard Cohen if he gave it more time.

Sometimes people do that. They just never hear a song in the right mood or something, so they never like it, but if they just listened to it at the right time, they'd see that they actually do like it. I think Leonard Cohen is this sort of musician. That's why that girl only listens to the one song, even though it affects her so much.

I put the picture that I drew of Moe in my photos. I tried to put it here, but I couldn't figure out how to post here from Photobucket. If you know how to do this, I would appreciate it if you told me. Also then I will repost this blog with the picture in.

Goodbye

2:29 PM

Sunday, November 19, 2006

I can imagine that my landlord would be really crap to deliver pizza to. He gets really pissy sometimes. I can totally see Moe delivering to him, but forgetting to close the gate on the way out. The landlord looks out of his window. He slowly sucks up what is happening. Works out what has been presented to him. And then he strikes!

"No! No! Leave the gate open! Just like that is fine, please."

This is him being sarcastic.

"Oh! Sorry, let me just close that for you."

The landlord looks at him. Yes, Moe knows he did wrong. But, no. He's not just being a dick. He actually doesn't want Moe to close it anymore.

"No. I said leave it. I want it left open."

This is the bit where Moe just sort of freezes in his tracks. He waits a few seconds because he's not sure what to say.

"Uh. Ok. I will leave the gate open. Thank you. Enjoy your evening"

"I will enjoy my evening."

This last one is actually a bit of a threat, you just can't see it because you're not in the room.

He doesn't call in later and complain to the manager or anything. He doesn't actually want to get Moe into trouble. He just wants Moe to understand. He has a gate for a reason. Alarms are for the same reason. If you have an alarm on, things are safer. It doesn't matter if it's daytime. He just has this thing on all the time. He'll be sitting in his bedroom where the alarm isn't on and just sit there knowing that there currently is no one in the rest of the house.

Yeah. That guy is a bit of a oddball. He actually creeps me out sometimes. I'm not saying he isn't good at his job, whatever that is. I'm just saying that I don't like him. I don't think I want him hanging around here anymore. I think I want to fire him.

Would you believe that I still have those batteries? When the kid gets here he'll take care of it all. He's like that. I think he'll be here soon. He hasn't called yet, but I'm sure he can't take much longer.

6:10 PM

Monday, November 20, 2006

My son is coming tomorrow. He left a voicemail. He didn't get all pissy when he heard my message. And he's her son. Man, this landlord thing is out of hand. Maybe I should get the kid to be my landlord. He probably hasn't got much to do now that he's broken up with his wife.

Did you know I can smell woman's menstrual cycles? Like, everyone on the block. If this was an episode of King Of Queens I would tell you that that is probably why the girl next door harassed me when I was just listening to music.

I read that they synchronise to the most socially dominant of the group. This is worrying because I'm a shark. I can smell a menstrual cycle from miles away. What if I'm being dominated by someone in my block who I've never even met. Maybe that is why I'm so fat?

9:12 PM

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My son isn't here yet, he should come later though. He said early afternoon. Yeah, I'm a bit excited. When he gets here I want to teach him something new. I don't know what, but I want to make him learn something from me.

I don't really like reading too much when I'm on the internet. It's not that I get bored, it's just that I'm quite tired recently. I read up about Sitting Bull today. I don't know if you remember when I wrote about Indians in cinema, but this is about that. And that is about this.

Sitting Bull was a mighty chief and holy man .He was a heroic figure in some of the Indian communities. He fought and fought and fought and refused to surrender, eventually retreating to Canada.

He then surrendered there because he ran out of food and shelter. Today you would call this money. He then asked the army if he could return to the reservations.

He was taken prisoner for bit first and them released back to his native lands and continued being a chief. I don't know if this is the direct result of being so poor, but Sitting Bull then started performing in Buffalo Bill's Wild West.

Buffalo Bill's Wild West was sort of a circus where all our ideas of who Cowboys and Indian's were originated. According to legend Sitting Bull would swear at the audience in his native tongue and they would go wild with applause. No one knew that he was really swearing at them.

I don't know if he actually did this. It would be a lot less sad if this was made up afterwards. The idea of being an attraction in a circus and then secretly cursing the crowd in a language they don't know is a bit depressing considering that he was still at this point a heroic figure to the Indians and their rebellion. This is the guy who defeated Custer.

I like to think that someone made it up afterwards because they thought it was a satisfactory act of revenge for destroying their culture and way of life. I kinda hope that Sitting Bull was above that. He's seen his world conquered by a civilisation that is now paying him to perform for them like how they saw the whole conflict through the newspapers and story-books and the other travelling circuses.

He stated in later life that he had always thought of white people as being small clusters of people living in makeshift settlements with a few nifty devices here and there. He then realised while travelling with the circus that this new civilization was bigger and more alien than anything he could have imagined. At this point he stopped encouraging his people to fight for their land and instead sided with accepting this assimilation as free of conflict as possible.

I'm glad I don't have to deal with this stuff.

11:05 AM