The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

So. The kid got here last night. He didn't really speak much. It was okay though. He did some cleaning as soon as he walked in. He wasn't angry at me. He was just firm with the fact that my place needed to be cleaned. I told him about the landlord, about how he wouldn't help me, because he was feeling iffy. He agreed that the landlord did sound like a jerk.

I hinted to him that he could probably stay here for as long as he wanted. He said he had to get back to work soon. I looked at him with a look that said I had the answer. I did a smile.

Two kids are sitting behind a house. The one has just been scolded for stealing sweets from the parents' room and is quite shaken up. The other one confidently comforts the first by saying, "Don't worry, at least you still got the sweets." The first one says back, "No, I didn't. They took it from me." He starts to cry slowly. The second one smiles the smile that I just smiled. The first one isn't looking. He keeps smiling. He taps the first one on the shoulder. Still smiling, but its getting hard to keep hold and his lips are twitching a bit. "You mean these?" The first kid looks at the sweets in the second's hand. He grabs two and starts eating them. He never sees the smile.

I also kept my smile on like this. He just kept looking at me. I was waiting for him to say something before I stopped so that it didn't end all wrong and get all awkward.

"I've got some sweets in the kitchen."

I brought the smile back for a second, but he looked at me funny so I quickly got up and walked to the kitchen.

"How much sugar would you like with your tea?"

"I thought you were getting sweets?"

"I don't want to open them now. Let's just have some tea."

"I don't want tea."

I didn't actually have any sweets. And I don't really know how to make tea. I just stood around in the kitchen for a bit.

1:48 PM

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Current mood: content

Yesterday we just sat around for most of the day. We played a bit of scrabble. I'm not really into scrabble. I just feel like all the stuff I would usually be busy doing is being sacrificed so that I can just sit around and play games. I don't mind though. I'm doing this for the kid. He says he started playing scrabble when he broke up with his wife. He probably just doesn't have anything to do.

I tried again to hint at him becoming the new landlord, but that didn't really work. I think I'm just going to have to be direct. Talking about being direct, he's started going at me for making so much mess. He cleaned up the place for a few hours. Man, he's going to get a fright when he sees the back room. It's just piled up with bottles. I really haven't gotten round to getting rid of those. It's bad, I know, but I just haven't had the time.

He's actually quite strict. I have to clean up after myself when I eat. Usually I just leave it, because I'm going to eat at the same place next time anyway. He complained about how many pizzas I eat. I said that I'm a shark and I need a lot of food but he just looked at me and did this weird thing with his lips.

We're probably just going to hang out and play scrabble tonight, which is cool. I like the fact that he is here and he's not going to leave in the next hour. It feels pretty comforting. I feel like maybe I shouldn't have told Celene not to come. She could join us. That would be nice.

Man. If she found out that the kid was here it would be impossible to get her to go home. Actually, it's probably a good thing she isn't going to come by.

If she did come though... Those two would probably clean up this place real quick... Maybe.

That grocery kid will be here tomorrow probably. Maybe only the next day. You never really know. He usually just pitches up every now and again. He doesn't phone first though, so I can't just make my voicemail message say that I don't need him to come by anymore. Man, that guy is a drain on my energy. When he is here it's just like, "Ah, leave now, dude."

7:17 PM

Friday, November 24, 2006

So, the grocery kid did in fact get here today. We fired him. I had told my son about the battery incident and just the general all-round jerkness of the grocery kid. My son stood back respectfully, while he let me, his father, deal with the conflict. Truth is I never would have been able to do it without my son standing there looking at both of us straight in our eyes. Almost silmultaneously.

I spoke first:

"Hey, man. How is life?"

"Okay. Where can I put this stuff?"

"Oh right here. Buddy... Say, did you get me batteries like I asked?"

"Yes. They're in this packet. I got the same ones as last week."

"Oh. You did? Ok. By the way, do you realise that those are the wrong batteries?"

"No. I did not realise that."

"Well, maybe you should find out which size to get before you get them. I haven't been able to do anything with these."

"What size would you like me to get you next time? I'll take those ones back."

"No. I want AAA batteries."

I didn't fire him yet. I sort of stumbled there.

"Do you mean you don't want me to take these back?"

"No. I mean I don't want you to take anything back. Or bring it here. I've got my son here who can do the shopping. He has strong legs."

I looked at him with this as a question.

I looked at my son. He stared at me. No help.

I looked back at the grocery kid.

"Your services are no longer required."

He didn't leave. He looked at me hard. I looked at my son. He stared back at me. I looked at his legs.

1:06 PM

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Hey guys. What's happening? I've just been chilling out with my boy. Also, Moe came by last night. That was embarrassing. I got my son to go outside and get the pizzas, but he messed it up. I got him to go stand outside while Moe was on the way while I sat behind the door listening through the box thing.

Get this. First thing he says is, "So, you're his best friend?"

Man. Way to go, LAME-O. Man. Talk about cramping my style. Who even uses that phrase, "best friend". Man.

It's okay though, Moe just kept quiet like he does. He's cool like that. The Kid didn't try any harder to embarrass me after that. Maybe he thought that he'd done a good enough job already. I was pretty pissed off about it for a few hours.

The Kid is still going at me for eating so much pizza. He says that's why I'm getting so fat. Dude.

He's actually constantly going at me. It's like he's angry at me for all this stuff that really isn't that big. He says I'm being selfish by not cleaning up after myself when I eat.... Dude, come on. I'm not going to explain my philosophy on this again. You don't have to clean up after me. Just leave it there.

Yeah, so I've been taking flak, but it's okay. I can get where he's coming from. I just think he needs to learn how to chill. Just relax.

5:25 PM

Sunday, November 26, 2006

My blog is dying. My son says I should give it up. He says there are more important things that I could be doing. He says I should fix up my life. Take care of myself. He's actually been a bit mean today. He hid the remote for a few hours. I found it in the back room. It was hidden pretty well amongst some bottles.

I confronted him with it and he just got really angry and walked out of the room. Kids.

He said it was weird that I watch the kid next door drinking coffee. I wouldn't expect him to understand. He isn't artisticly inclined. I showed him my picture of Moe and he just shrugged and said, "That isn't what he looks like."

Man. I don't think he understands the concept of me not having any reference. Well, I'm no longer planning to show him the picture I did of him. I don't think he'll 'get' it.

5:34 PM

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User comments.

Kimon

When you said that you blog was dying, a little piece of me died inside... you blog is the highlight of my day! never give up... never.

like you said... we have to stick toghether...its not safe otherwise...

Posted by Kimon on Monday, November 27, 2006 at 9:51 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair

Thank you, Kimon.

I'm glad someone 'gets' it.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Monday, November 27, 2006 at 10:34 AM