The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Yesterday, I spent a lot of time going through all these poems of these new MySpace friends I have in Canada/America. I think it's pretty evident that they have had MySpace traditionally, whereas the country that I've been living in has only had it for like eight months. Yeah, I know, it seems a lot longer. They have this thing where they all write poetry and then comment on each other's poetry and stuff. I like that.

I tried that yesterday. I tried to write. I always say how I'm going to write all this stuff. All these stories and all those sitcom episodes. What have I got to show for it? I don't have friends commenting on my freshly imagined and excitingly epical poems that I wrote in moods of confusingly considered alienation and attempt. No.
This brings me to my next point. This is our community. Noone else's. I want you guys to stop talking to other people on MySpace. Not unless they're in the community. Guys, come on.

I'm not saying that I have to give the go-ahead before you can talk to other people. Nothing like that. No. I just think that you should only talk to people if they are on the list of friends (You can find the list on my profile page. ie: my friends list). We really need to try harder to build this.

Also. I'm sorry that I wrote that blog yesterday. I don't know what I was doing. I was trying to compete. it was silly. I guess. Well, we do our way now on. Okay? Guys?

Community.

7:48 PM

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User comments

niel


Hello Ancient shark of despair.
I wanted to comment on what you wrote yesterday, but i didnt know what to say. I really liked the story of the european king, i dont know why you said you are sorry for writing it... As for only talking to people that are on the list, I will do my best, but i cant promise that I will only talk to them, because i have many friends that are not on your list of friends, just because they havent found you yet, and i dont want to upset them. some of them are very fragile. I think in time they will all be your friends, you just have to give them time. Just imagine if one of them said you should only talk to people that are on my list and you werent on it. then I wouldnt be allowed to talk to you. That would make you sad wouldnt it, but i think this idea where we should all write and comment on each other's work is a very good idea. from niel

Posted by niel on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 11:16 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Yeah!

Okay, new plan. You can speak to other people. If you can, try only speak to the community. But, you can speak to others if you want.

Also, we should start writing poetry and stuff. And then comment on each other's stuff. Come on, guys!

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 12:20 PM ]

Arbot


I'm in, but only cuase your the most complicated shark I know.

Posted by Arbot on Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 2:58 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


You're pretty cool, Arbot.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 10:55 AM

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Man, last night.

My apartment isn't very big. You can hear if people are outside. And I did.

I heard Moe.
(me = excited)
He had a friend with him. The friend talked weird. He sorta slurred his words.

"I don't know, man. He's got peado on his wall."

"Don't worry, I know him. He's harmless. We could take him."

Then they knock.

I waited for a bit. I didn't want them to know that I had been listening. Also, when they said they could take me, I don't know. I have a mouth practically full of knives. I could probably take them. Also, I'm really big.

It was Moe who was knocking. He knocked again.

"Hello. Moe?"

They went quiet a bit and then the other one whispered to Moe, "Why does he call you that?"

I could still hear him though. Sharks have immaculate senses.

"Hey, man. Let us in. It's Moe. You know, Moe?"

He said Moe really weird. Not the way I say it.

"Hold on. I just gotta get some clothes on."

I came back and opened the door.

"Hey, this is my cousin, Monopoly."

We greeted each other hesitantly. He was really staring at me. I'm pretty sure it was because I was a shark. People aren't used to these things.

His mouth was open. He wasn't talking. But then he talked.

"Uh, dude? Um..."

He was asking Moe for approval. Moe approved.

"Yeah, no it's cool. He's got family and stuff."

I let them in. I was surprised that Moe was so cool with it. I guess it's probably because of that one time when I told him that I was a shark. It's subconscious.

They walked in and started setting up some TV games.

I wanted to know how Moe felt about me being a shark.

"Um, Moe. So, did you notice that.... uhhhh... you know..."

He cut me off.

"Yeah, I know. Shark."

Okay. I walked around my flat for a bit and went to stand in the kitchen.

We played TV games all night. They wouldn't let me have a turn. They said that the guy who they borrowed it didn't want anyone else to play it.

I just watched most of the time. It's pretty cool how good TV games are getting. You don't even have to play, it's like being in a movie.

I let them sleep in my bed. I slept in the kitchen. They haven't actually woken up yet.

12:20 PM

love the box of angelwolf


what are you cooking for breakfast?

Posted by love the box of angelwolf on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 1:09 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


I had a sandwich. They haven't woken up yet. I was wondering if Moe could get pizza.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 2:52 PM

chu tu


who won the video games?

Posted by chu tu on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 7:16 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


It was quite hard to see what was going on a lot of the time, but I think Moe got the most points.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 10:53 AM

Arbot


I'm glad Moe is cool about you being a shark, theres alot of assholes out there.

Posted by Arbot on Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 3:05 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


I was pretty scared he was going to be an asshole about it, but then I figured, 'Hey, it's Moe.' After that, everything was cool.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 10:54 AM

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Moe looked so different to the picture I had of him in my head. It turns out he does have long hair. It's not that long. Not like girl hair.

The landlord came round today. He asked me if he could speak to me outside. Yeah.

"Who is that kid?" He was angry. The way he said it was 'cutting'.

"He's my friend." I don't think I was even lying. "His name is Monopoly."

"What?" he didn't wait for an answer. "Did you meet him on the internet?"

"Yeah. I did meet him on the internet. So? Does that make him any less good?"

He sighed a little bit, but he showed no signs of laying off. You could see that he still has problems sleeping. He should get TV games. Moe and Monopoly said that they only went to sleep when the sun came up.

"Shark." He slowed down his speech. "Why have you got "peedo" spraypainted on your wall?"

I considered this.

"You know what? I like it. It means kid."

"Shark, listen to me. You're always saying how you just don't want people to complain. This is something people complain about."

He pointed at the spraypainting.

"What?" I was being short with him. "The spraypaint?"

"No. Not just the spraypaint. The fact that there is a child in your bedroom! The fact that you're always talking about this boy that you've never even met. The kid you invited round to your house for christmas. You've never even seen him before!"

"That's not fair!" We were arguing. "Of course I've met him. He slept here last night! That 'child' in there is his cousin."

The landlord suddenly stopped. He looked speechless. And he wasn't saying anything.

After about a minute of him staring emptily at the spraypainting he looked back at me. I thought he was going to apologise. He looked sorry.

"Shark. Why are you covered in towels?"

2:37 PM

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User comments

chu tu


you are swimming in deep water sharky

Posted by chu tu on Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 9:07 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Sharks can swim while they sleep. It's because we use parts of our brains that most people haven't realised were there the whole time. I think.

Also, I wrote another chapter in the European King Saga today. Let me know what you think. I only decided to go through with this because you guys all write things and everyone always says stuff about each others stuff. And I really like that. So I'm going to start writing stuff.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 9:31 PM

Arbot


I wonder what the movie will be like, smells kinda like made-for-TV.

Posted by Arbot on Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 2:51 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Thing is, I am going to write a sitcom. That will be for TV. It's about this family where the father went weird on a trip to the moon. He comes back and the family have to learn how to love him again. In the end the all realise that he was cool all along. Also, its set in the future

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 2:03 PM

Friday, January 12, 2007

Monopoloy is quite an interesting guy. He's very street. He knows a whole bunch of words. He's mainly been playing the TV games and I've been watching. He let me play when Moe left, but I took a turkey that fell on the ground after I killed this one guy. The turkey lets you live longer and Monopoly needed it. He got angry at me because he died almost right after I picked it up. I didn't know that he didn't want me to pick it up.

I told him I'd buy him pizza later to make it up to him, but he still wont let me play TV games. I don't mind though. I just watch.

It was funny, the landlord came in to hang out, but he was just sitting around awkwardly and then he left. Thing is, he doesn't like Monopoly. Monopoly let him play TV games but he couldn't work out how to do anything. He said that it was all silly. He got upset and walked out without saying anything. He turned around at the door and just looked at me.

As soon as he left the room Monopoly said, "Weird! Guy's got issues, man."

We both laughed together. We were both looking at the door. Just laughing. I laughed and laughed. I looked at him to see if he was still laughing. He was. I kept laughing.

When he stopped laughing I waited for him to carry on playing TV games. Then I looked at him and said, "That guy is so weird!"

2:53 PM

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User comments

Speak up! My ears are overflowing alphabet soup


kushy

Posted by Speak up! My ears are overflowing alphabet soup on Friday, January 12, 2007 at 3:54 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Is that like the opposite of Kudos?

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Friday, January 12, 2007 at 4:44 PM

east side erin


i know your
one weakness:
you can not hover

Posted by east side erin on Friday, January 12, 2007 at 6:36 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


You're absolutely right. I can't.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Friday, January 12, 2007 at 8:24 PM

chu tu


i think you've been doing an awful lot of hovering over these internet boys

Posted by chu tu on Friday, January 12, 2007 at 9:31 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


A. I cant hover (I wish)
B. Only the one is actually at my house right now.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 1:29 PM

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Monopoly told me that Moe is depressed. His name isn't Moe either, it's Michael. That's so exotic. When you write it down it sounds middle-eastern. Michael D Ewans. He delivers my pizza and he's depressed.

Monopoly has been friends with Moe since they were kids. It's because they are cousins. He says that in the last year or two Moe has been getting more and more depressed. He doesn't even talk to people a lot of the time. He just sits there awkwardly, looking hurt. Monopoly says it's weird and that he doesn't like Moe being around his friends. He says it can be embarrassing.

I can understand this. I guess one of the reasons I don't want the landlord to come round while Monopoly is here is because he is so sad. He's got this look where he looks at you and you just imagine that he's really crying or something. Like he learned from a young age a secret technique where you can just cry and not actually make any tears. His face just stands still. It's all there in his eyes all hollow and empty.

Moe came round last night to deliver pizza. He didn't even come in. I told him that Monopoly was here, but he didn't even answer. I guess that's what Monopoly was talking about. It is kinda awkward. I didn't want to open the door. I thought that it would be weird if I all of a sudden started letting Moe in with the pizza just because he came round once. He would probably think that it was weird too. Also, Monopoly said that I shouldn't let him in. He said that he would let me have another turn at the TV games if I didn't let him in.

I felt bad that the guy who lent the TV games to us wouldn't like that I was playing his games.

2:47 PM

niel


hello ancient shark of despair.
I am sure Monopoly wont tell the guy that lent him the T.V games that you were playing. Monopoly seems like a nice person and he wouldnt want to hurt someone intentionally.

Posted by niel on Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 3:53 PM
[Remove] [Reply to this]

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Monopoly says that he won't hurt anyone unless they hurt him first. If that happens he says he will hurt that person more than that person had ever seen any other person hurt. Monopoly seems to talk a lot about hurt.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 6:18 PM

Arbot


How does an agoraphobic shark make money?

Posted by Arbot on Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 10:24 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


I get cheques from Shane in the UK. Thank you Shane. I sold a bunch of bottles the other day for like a thousand bucks. I recently got a whole stack of money from the landlord in exchange for his job back. I'm actually pretty loaded right now.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 10:28 PM

o.OmaxiO.o


:C i think it's sad that your loyalties don't lie with Moe

Posted by o.OmaxiO.o on Wednesday, January 17, 2007 at 5:12 PM