The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Oh boy. I think that for the first time in my life I'm allowed to be happy. I've just been wasting all my time with old people all the time. Now that I've got all these kids as friends I feel like I'm not just watching people watch themselves die. I don't need old people. I saw one walk past earlier and I shouted at him.

David was outside again today. He was just chilling, drinking coffee. I watched him for a bit. I wonder if he really does know that I'm watching him. He said that he knew. He was angry then. And we weren't friends yet.

"Do you know that I am watching you?" I was going to just mouth the words but they came out anyway. I kept still for a bit, but then I laughed to myself. I laughed at how silly what I just said was. I looked out at David and just shook my head all silly like. Like Celene does.

Friday, January 26, 2007

The landlord popped in for a visit today. He seemed a bit nervous. The first thing he said when he walked in was, "No kids around then, hey?" he chuckled to himself and looked at me. I didn't laugh back. I think he knew that I was serious.

He was relaxed. He seemed a lot older than the last time I saw him. A lot older. He grinned at me and said, "Shark, there's a reason why I came round."

I frowned at him and he got serious.

"Shark. Over the last few days... I've been hearing you shout at people." He gave me a few seconds to think about that. "People in the street."

I looked around my room. I looked at my TV games.

I think he's getting pretty old now. He's always been a bit of a complainer, but recently he's been so reluctant about it. He has this look of disapproval sown into his smile. He's ready to denounce the whole system.

"Shark. I don't mean to intrude. It's just that..." He softened his voice but rose in pitch. "People... are going to complain."

A second passed where neither of us knew what in the world was going on. He had said it just like I said it out of the window when I shouted at people.

He broke first and erupted into hysteric laughter. What's going on?

Yes. I jumped up and he clapped. We were still hungry for life. I wore a smile that told him it was more than alright. It was all okay!

Quickly I told him of all the passers-by that I had shouted at. We were dizzied by excitement.

"Paedophile!"

I told him how one man ran away and how another didn't even take notice. I showed him how I did it and even reenacted it once for him.

I held back the curtains and he asked me if that was alright. I hadn't opened the curtains in years.

No! It's alright now. I feel so alive! We're all going to go on an adventure.

"Me and David and Moe and Monopoly and even you!"

His body language died down a bit. He tilted his head.

"David? Doesn't he live next door?"

I got all amped up. "That's the beauty of it! Everyone is alway around me! I've got the world at my fingertips."

He asked if I was talking about my internet friends.

"I'm talking about everybody!"

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User comments

Maxi

can i come on the journey *huge eyes*

Posted by Maxi on Friday, January 26, 2007 at 9:46 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair

I'm talking about everybody!

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Friday, January 26, 2007 at 10:05 PM

Arbot

cool, I need some adventure too
and not the kind inspired by tequila

Posted by Arbot on Friday, January 26, 2007 at 11:50 PM

chu tu

i am very far from you
and that makes me feel safe

Posted by chu tu on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 12:12 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair

Adventures aren't always 'safe'.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 12:48 AM

Arbot

I wouldn't have guessed sharky could inspire fear in you
I know you still got that knife kickin around
one good slash and you can make some sharkfin soup

uh..haha..just kiddin sharky..

Posted by Arbot on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 12:48 AM
[Remove] [Reply to this]

The Ancient Shark Of Despair

Dude, that's pretty weird. And it's gross.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 12:50 AM

Arbot

It's all perspective
It's not cannibalism from mine

but yeah, I don't expect you to be curious about what your fin tastes like

Posted by Arbot on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 12:54 AM

Arbot

no response?
.. haha, ok I guess I broke first
it's ok, your still a blast sharky

Posted by Arbot on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 1:11 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair

Arbot!

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 1:34 AM

Roxy

I'm pretty good at unlocking things. Could I come too?

Posted by Roxy on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 9:06 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair

Ok, this is going to sound a bit weird, and maybe even a bit crazy...

Would you want to become David's girlfriend?

I don't want him hanging around that girl who teased me about Burzum.

He's real sweet.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 11:54 AM

niel

i wont be able to come on an adventure. i am to scared of life and going anywhere, but it sounds like a good plan. i think shark fins probably taste like human fingers and humans taste like chicken so sharks taste like chicken. not that anyone would ever eat a shark. thats just weird.

Posted by niel on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 10:28 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair

Yeah, I mean I know we're all made of meat and everything. But Sharks?
That's just weird.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 11:49 AM

Saturday, January 27, 2007

I got the landlord to stay for pizza last night. I paid. Like usual.

I told him that he had to wait in the cupboard in case I let Moe in. He said that he refused to hide in a cupboard. I told him that he couldn't have any pizza if he didn't, but he said he'd rather go home hungry than hide in the cupboard.

I looked him up and down. I need to get him to remember that I did just fire him a few weeks ago and that I could do it again.

"He's here! Please! Get in the cupboard." I pushed him towards the cupboard and opened its door. "I'm serious!"

He got in as Moe knocked on the door. I looked at the door and back at him and whispered, "Don't peek."

I think that Moe could sense that I was up to something.

"Hey, I've got your pizzas." He waited. "Can I just leave them here and take the money or do I have to speak to you first?"

"Hold on!" I said as calmly as possible and quickly tried to neaten up my bed.

I pushed myself up to the door and softly said through the box, "Hey man. What's happening?"

"Um. I wanted to know if.... Well, I've got your pizzas here... Do you want me to put them down?"

"Hey, Moe. Are you cool with me being a shark? I mean, would you freak out if I opened the door?"

"Um, do I need to come in? I've got other deliveries to do."

I pulled the door open as gently as I could. I didn't want to scare him.

"Hey, Moe. What's up? Long time no see."

"Um, do you want me to bring these pizzas inside?"

"Man, your cousin just freaked out the other morning. I walked into the room to play some TV games and he just jumped up and punched me. He ran out after that happened. Jeez, I think he must have thought I was going to eat him." I watched his reaction. "Did he tell you about it?"

"Uh, no. He didn't tell me about it. I'll put these down in the kitchen."

He walked into the kitchen and put them next to the microwave. As he walked out he saw me sitting on my bed with the controller for the TV games.

"Oh, I was just about to play a round of TV games. On my new TV games. Do you want a turn?" I looked him in the eyes for a few seconds. "You can play first."

"Uh, I really have to do these other deliveries." He frowned a bit. "Is the money outside, like usual?"

"Moe, how are you, man?"

He didn't reply. He looked a bit timid.

"Monopoly told me that you're an Ashkenazi. That must be real tough."

He still just looked at me.

"If you ever just need to talk... You know where I live."

I winked at him.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

The only thing is that in real life I didn't say that middle panel. I only thought it. I figure that if I'm drawing it I might as well put down what I wanted to say. Also, I didn't really say that in the third panel. you can find out what I said in real life on the blog.

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User comments

Arbot

I was hoping to see the wink, but I guess this is ok.
That last frame makes your nose look funny though, you prolly don't care though, being a shark and all, just thought I'd let you know.

Posted by Arbot on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 10:52 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair

It's really hard to draw with fins. I'm sorry.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 11:35 PM

Arbot

well you do better with fins than I do with fingers, at drawing

Posted by Arbot on Sunday, January 28, 2007 at 9:41 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair

Also, the Xylene-free pen that I was using was going all weird. You can see it at it's worst where I drew Moe.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 11:37 PM

Arbot

hmm, I didn't know what that was so I looked it up, turns out getting numbers written on my arm with a sharpie may not be healthy, guess theres another kick towards gettin a bloody cell phone

Posted by Arbot on Sunday, January 28, 2007 at 9:46 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair

They took my cellphone away. I hadn't even used it yet.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Monday, January 29, 2007 at 6:27 PM

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Hey... Guys. What is happening?

Things have been rather strange around these parts. The landlord got all pissy last night because I didn't tell him that he could come out of the closet on Friday when Moe came round.. I said that he could have worked it out for himself. But he said that it didn't matter because I should have told him. He stayed in there for a good five minutes before he came out.

I was eating a whole bunch of pizza and to be honest, I didn't even notice that he was upset. He didn't speak to me the whole of Yesterday until like supper time. He came round to cook for me, which he has started doing quite often actually.

Before he actually cooked anything he just sort of looked at me and whispered, "Don't ever... push me into a cupboard again."

I laughed because I thought that he was making a joke like he did when he 'confronted' me about shouting at people out of the window.

I said, "Paedophile!"

He pointed at me and clenched his lips up.

Then he walked into the kitchen and started making supper.

I watched some TV and then we ate the supper that he made. It wasn't very good, but I didn't tell him that because I know that would have made him feel worse.