The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The landlord popped in earlier today. He said that he was going to 3D movie. I thought he was joking but he wasn't. I asked him if he even knew what 3D was and he said that he used to an engineer. I asked him why he didn't invite me.

"You never want to come?" he replied.

"What do you mean?" I complained. "I love 3D. I would have definitely said yes!"

"I don't think you.... I don't think you would have enjoyed it." He said meekly.

"What do you mean? You know I love that sort of stuff!" I shouted at him. "The ones with the glasses?"

"Look." He said. "It's going to be full of people. And it's about dinosaurs. You don't like dinosaurs. I didn't think you would want to come."

"What do you mean, 'I don't like dinosaurs'?" I asked. "Dinosaurs are awesome. 3D dinosaurs are even more awesome!"

"Shark...there's going to be a lot of people there. I know how you get." He softened his voice. "I know you don't like that sort of thing."

"This is different!" I shouted at him!

"Shark." he responded with an even softer voice than before. "You can't bring your towels. They won't let you do that there."

I was about to accuse him of sneaking around behind my back with the grocery kid, but I was taken a bit aback by the towels thing.

"Oh." I said. Meekly.

"I didn't think you would want to go." He quickly responded. "It's full of boring dinosaur stuff. It's not your sort of thing."

"I like dinosaurs." I told him.

"No, Shark." He replied. "Not like this. This is different. These aren't your sort of dinosaur."

"Oh." I agreed. "Okay."

I didn't say anything after that for a while and we even got a bit awkward. The landlord started fidgeting, but I just sat there. Absorbed.

"Is the grocery kid going to be there?" I asked him.

"Shark! Don't call him that." He got upset." That's not nice."

"Well, that's what he is." I told him.

Friday, March 23, 2007

So, I ended up not actually going to the 3D dinosaurs after all. There I was, ready to go with the landlord at my door and I was busy just checking something out on the internet and he was getting impatient and I told him, "Hold on!".

I was doing something.

So, he said we were going to be late and I said that the grocery kid wasn't even here yet and he got upset that I called him "the grocery kid".

Well, that's what he is.

He delivers my groceries and him doing that is the sole source of his ability to live outside of his mother's house.

I didn't say this. It was the type of information that makes people think about their own lives and it usually doesn't end well. I kept it in my mind that I couild change this small part of the world (The landlord's mood) if I wanted to. It would come in handy later.

He said that we were meeting him there.

I told him that I had something that I wanted to show him.

"Actually, you need to hear it." I shouted.

He said that he didn't want to play around on my computer. He wanted to go right now. I told him that it was Moe's demo tape. It was called the Mighty Moe EP and it sounded like TV game music.

Moe is probably so good at TV games that it isn't even funny. He's really that type of guy. I think he's the type of guy that just has context for everything. That's what life is about. You do something and it's not like he's new to it, even though he is. He's got patterns and structures in his mind that are stronger than just learning to do something. That's what context is. It's something that is bigger than just the thing that you are doing.

Guys, come on. Don't just be a dick to people. Do you know how much stuff there is that you don't understand? Don't not laugh at someone's funny joke because you want them to leave the room. Life's too short to waste on that. And you know what you do when someone makes a bad joke because they're trying to interact with you and they're nervous. Laugh at that too. When people make jokes, you laugh. They just want you to say that it's okay. And do you know what? Why not just say it is?

The landlord said that he was leaving. He said that he knew what I was doing.

"What am I doing?" I shot his bluff.

"You're not coming to the show. You're just waiting for me to get angry and leave you behind." He shot back.

I looked at him and then slowly looked down. I didn't look back up when I said that I did want to go out, "I love 3D dinosaurs."

"Well, Shark." He said. "You're going to have to be honest here. Are you really coming with? Are you ready to leave?"

I looked up and also thoughtful. I considered the sides. "All I have to do is lock up the pad. And I have to turn my computer off. I can't do that until I've finished these websites."

"Can't you just turn it off?" He asked. He seemed tired.

I looked at him and demanded, "Oh so you're in a hurry now?"

"Shark, I've been in a hurry since I got here." He answered. "You aren't coming, are you?"

I looked back at the screen.

"Shark!"

"What?!" I looked at him.

He told me that he didn't care if I got upset. He was going to leave in one minute.

"You always do this!" I shouted. "I just wanted to finish what I was doing! You never want me to go out!"

He blinked hard three times quickly.

"Shark..." He started.

"No!" I cut him off.

He stood there for a bit not knowing what to say. When I looked up next he was gone. I looked back a few times and spent the rest of the night sitting around watching TV. I wasn't really upset anymore about him leaving me behind. I think he probably enjoys his outings with the grocery kid. They're both Irish. Or Scottish. I can't remember which one.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Hey guys. Look, there isn't going to be a comic tonight and there might not be one tomorrow. I haven't had any good ideas the whole week. I've just been so busy with all this stuff everywhere that I haven't had time to sit down and suck it all up and spit it all out and do one up quick enough.

Yeah, I've had all these crazy ideas. Ideas about people. Ideas about Moe.

I asked him if he had a lot of human contact. He started saying something that I couldn't quite hear and then said that you must never ask anyone for help. Imagine that. I asked him what he meant and he apologized, "No, man. Sorry, I didn't mean that, like… It's just when you're delivering pizza…"

He stopped. It sounded like he was having a hard time turning all the magical suffering that makes him unique into any sort of coherent rule to live your life by. It sounds like a tall order.

"When I am out at people's flats…"He stopped again and it sounded like he closed his eyes but was also looking up. "People want to help you but it isn't going to work…"

He sounded very frustrated. I hadn't said anything in a minute so there was no pressure.

"People don't know what they are talking about. They want to help and it doesn't work. You realize that you know what you're looking for a lot more than they do even though you don't even live there. They do." He finished off.

"Oh." I said. "Do they notice?"

"No!" He nearly shouted. "That's the thing! They don't know. They're just being pushed along by these vague instincts without the slightest thought to practicality."

I wanted to say that I was sorry, but I didn't think that it would work.

"Oh, yeah." I agreed. "People are always just getting in the way. That's why I kicked my family out. They got in the way."

"What?" He asked. " Wha- what?"

"I'm joking!" I told him. "Come on! Come on, Moe."

"What?" He asked.

"Ahhh, don't tell me that you didn't get it." I said. "Come on…"

Sunday, March 25, 2007

I wrote a poem:

Dear the future.

I'm sorry that I existed,
Please don't tear me to shreds.

It's pretty short. It's all about how fast the world will outgrow you.

It makes me want to be nice to people just to make it easier.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Hey, guys. I'm sorry I didn't do any comics this weekend. Also, I've done a comic.