The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

I've been speaking with David. It's not that he doesn't want to meditate and stuff it's just that he doesn't know what it's all about. He said that he didn't want to do it anymore when I said that he must coming over at night for meditations.

I don't think he liked the idea of confronting all that emotion in the dark. It's a scary place, the dark.

I said that he could sleep over if he got too scared to walk home.

"No. It's not that I'm too scared..." He said. "I don't know. I don't like all this stuff."

That's his problem.

"You just want to have fun. You don't want to learn." I told him. "You just want to be safe in your little world."

"Shark..." He pleaded with his eyes. "I don't wanna..."

"Wasn't it your birthday the other day?" I asked. "Aren't you supposed to be all grown up by now?"

"Shark..."

I let out some breath an shook my head quickly. You don't want to know.

"Shark, I want to know, I just don't want to meditate." He said. "It's weird, Sharky."

I looked away from him and walked to the kitchen. I played around with a tea bag.

"What are you doing?" David was standing behind me. "I thought we were going to play."

His eyes were almost glowing. He stared and stared at me. It didn't go away.

"David?"

He repeated after me, "David?"

I thought he was going to explode.

"Stop it!" I cried at him.

"Stop it!" He cried back. But it was no use.

"Don't you know that I am magic now?" He asked. "Don't you know?"

I ran out of the room and hid in my bed. I woke up later and it was so quiet that all I could hear were dial up modems going off in my head. It's probably something to do with brainwaves.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

So, I was a bit worried about David. I fell asleep while he was at my house. He probably got all weird about it and left. We were going to do this horizontal meditation that I picked up a few years ago. Basically, you're free of all
distractions because you don't have to think about your posture.

I showed him how to do it. He asked if he could play TV games and I could just do it but I said he had to watch. I didn't fall asleep. I got up afterwards and said, "See, how was that? It's your turn."

He acted all boyish like he does and just keeps quite sort of wriggling. I thought about how that would go down in a room with the landlord and the grocery kid on one side and him on the other and it made me sad. He wouldn't get anywhere with that attitude. He's just a little boy when he's like that.

"You need to do this." I told him. "Think about how still it would make your mind. That counts for so much in an argument."

"Why would I be in an argument?" He asked me. "I don't want to argue."

I tensed up my posture. I noticed that his posture was crunched up.

"Oh, really." I said. "I didn't realise that when the guys were just taking you to pieces about how lame you were being."

He looked awake. And he stepped back.

"What do you mean?" He asked. "What guys? Your creepy landlord and his friend? Why would they say that?"

It's a tough world.

"Because you don't want to fight back. This world is tough." I said. "I'm trying to help you."

He started moving his body all about trying to push the world away.

He said that he didn't want to fight.

"Lie down." I told him.

He moved around and around and got closer to the bed.

I showed him how.

"You have to picture all this eneregy just taking over." I said. "But you have to make everything quiet first."

When I woke up he was gone and I heard my modem dialing up again and again. My brainwaves were all flying around so that I could hear them. I just lay there for a few minutes and it sounded like I was missing.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

It must suck to be part of a group.

That's what I think of David. He's got people and all that, but where is that going to get you in the end. You need understandings. You need to see things. That's what I've got.

I've had people. I wanted to tell my landlord about David leaving but I couldn't get hold of him. He wasn't there.

I watched out of my window for quite a bit today just in case. He wasn't there (David). I thought it would be funny if I caught him meditating.

"Hey!" I shout at him. "Watcha doin', neighbour?"

"Shark!" He shouted back. It was pretty sudden. "I didn't know you would see me."

"That's no excuse!" I joked.

His mouth hung slack. "How long have you been watching me?"

"You're doing it wrong, kiddo!" I shouted as a joke. Pointing at him and pulling my face all together.

He didn't react. All it looked like he was doing it all wrong. His was too tight. Too scared. He tried to fight it and looked around to gather his pose. His eyes started to glow blue. He really did it. He put his hands out pushing energy away. He could make his own.

All the wind was blowing and all his clothes were ripping and twisting. He crouched slightly. His blue eyes strayed and he sneezed in that split second in which I realised that he wasn't real. It was his trick. A cloud passed by the sun and I saw his eyes stop glowing and his eyes were about to cry but I didn't care. It could have been a trick too.

He sucked up the light in the sun and used it to reflect the sky.

"So that's what you do!" I yelled at him. Cheap magician.

"No! It's real, I swear!" He yelled claims. "It's real!"

"Your mom's coming and you know that she can't see you with me and all you've got is cheap tricks. I hope she loves you." I told him.

"I'm sorry, Shark." He apologised. "I needed to impress you with all this stuff, but you knew so much more than me the whole time and I didn't want to know. It's time that you took over. You're so much more!"

I told him it was nonsense through my body language but I knew it wasn't. I knew he was right.

His mom came and caled for him to hurry up his dinner was getting cold, "We're all going to sit around later and look through boxes of photos of people we know and we love."

I ducked in case she could see me but I knew that she couldn't because I have done tests before.

You can't see me from outside, only I can see in. I got the landlord to go outside and I asked him if he could see me now. How about now? And now? Eventually he came back inside and the world was safer for me.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

In other news:

Same as usual for Friday night. Moe came around for a bit. It was pretty cool. Haven't seen David around. Haven't seen the landlord around or even the grocery kid. I asked Moe to keep an eye out for them. He said that he didn't know what they looked like. I told him that he'd met them before a whole bunch of times. He said that he didn't remember then.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Hello. (Self-aware is different from being self-conscious)

David should have realised that things between me and him are cool now. I can't even remember why I'm angry at him. Seriously.

I'm waiting for him to come back. He's seen too much. He can't go back to his old life, always looking at photos of distant family. Yuck. He's past the routines that make up the average person's life. School, normal relationships and maybe even food.

Okay, so I'll cut to the chase. I think I'm going to go on an adventure.

I know that I've been meaning to go on an adventure for a few weeks now, but this time I'm serious.

We're talking the landlord and me and David. Moe would be awesome, but he has a job that he probably can't get out of. Maybe he can pop in. That would be cool. Other than that, think about it: I could get the landlord and David to come with. That stuff with David basically didn't even happen and the landlord is cool. Whatever.

I haven't seen the landlord in some time. He's probably out playing with that kid who delivers my groceries for a living.

We can get hold of a car.

I'm serious about this whole thing.

Man, David just needs to realise that he needs to relax and calm down. He needs to stop being so needy and just get on with it. Life isn't just going to sit around while you wait. You gotta go grab it and do stuff.

That's what I'm going to do. I'll still do comics while I'm on the road.