The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Yeah, that's how it works.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Me and David were packing all our adventure supplies into the car. I was just reflecting the mood and bubbling with excitement and adventure. I ran up and down the stairs like a thirty times just checking if I had left anything behind. I told David that I was just checking something out on my computer.

I saw that David was packing everything wrong, but I didn't care.

"Don't we need to tell anybody?" David asked me. He looked scared.

"What?" I asked, trying not to respond too quickly on that one. I got a bit steamed up for it though. There was no way that David wasn't going to come anymore. Most people aren't ever going to be ready to go on an adventure because they're slaves. David was ready. We both were. So it would be a bit crappy if he just couldn't go any more.

"You know," he asked further. "Aren't you supposed to tell someone that you're going on a trip?"

"Dude... David, man." I squinted my face all up. I made it as clear as I could that this was important. "You're not chickening out not now are you? That would be seriously lame of you."

"No. I don't..." He defended. "I don't mean it like... I mean like telling the government. Don't you have to tell them where you're going?"

I was still wound from thinking he was ditching us. "No! No, dude. Who is the government? They don't care about us. They don't care what we're doing anymore."

"Okay, well, it's just I think you might have to clear it with them first." He explained. "You know, in case they don't have enough space or something. Maybe you had to book."

"Whatever, man." I looked up at the sun. "All I know is that you need this. You can't just step back into normal people life now. You're halfway there."

I gave it a good stare before I looked back at him. I wanted him to really get it.

"Come on." I said. "You're all the way there. You just need to do this now."

"Okay." He said. "I'm sorry. I just wasn't sure."

He packed some more things into the car. I was a lot more calm now. I told him that he was packing everything wrong. You can't just put it like that because when you want to get something in a hurry you have to dig through all the other stuff first then.

I had taught David a whole bunch of meditating and he was starting to get the whole thing.

"You know what?" He looked at me and asked. "All I want to do is meditate so well that I can read people's minds. I don't mean it in a bad way. It won't be for evil, obviously. I want to be able to read people's minds so that I can tell people what is wrong with them so that they can grow. So that we can all grow."

I nodded at him. Very cool. A few days ago I was sure that I would never see him again. I was trying to teach him some advanced meditation where you have to lie down and I woke up and he was gone, but I could just feel that he was very scared and angry. I didn't think I would see him again and now he was telling me this stuff about how he wanted to help people and how he wanted to be with me and we can help people.

He wanted to know why everyone that I knew wasn't coming and I had to tell him that they're not ready yet. I had to tell him that they are slaves. Except for Moe, they are all just not ready for this. It's only me and you David. We're the only ones.

He finished up packing and we both knew what time it was. It was time to go.

I got into the car and adjusted my seat and spent a bit of time getting used to everything.

David looked at me. He was worried.

"Aren't you going to go?" He asked. "What's wrong? Are we still going?"

I checked the steering wheel a few times and looked back at him.

"Hold on." I told him. "The steering wheel is on the wrong side. It's on the right. I'm used to them being on the other side. The left. Hold on."

11:42 PM

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Man, we must have been driving for like two hours already. David wanted to know why he had to sit in the back seat. It was kinda funny because the reason that I told him wasn't the real reason that he actually had to. I told him it was because the seatbelt was broken in the front seat and he said he didn't care. He said he was old enough to ride in the front seat without a seatbelt.

We drove around for a bit, like I said. We saw all sorts of magic and kinda got bored after a while. I told him about my wife and how beautiful she used to be. I used to take photos of her with this new camera that I bought. It was 1947 and they had just invented them. We drove around for hours just talking about my wife and how beautiful she was.

"Those photos that I gave you were of her." I told him. "That's when I first got it."

I smiled at him and he smiled back. He was a shy boy all round.

I continued. "I walked in one day and told her to sit down. 'Honey, we can capture this moment forever and that is great.'"

I was dead serious in my joy in the same way that I was with the boy now. I guess nothing much has changed. Everyone is the same person really. You learn that after a while.

Look, I think I should be clear about something. I haven't left my house in something like twenty years or forty years or something. This adventure is a big thing and I'm really grateful that David could come with me. I wouldn't want to do this alone and he's the only person who isn't really busy right now. All the other guys have got all this really important stuff going on right now.

And Celene, where is that crazy old girl? I don't know. Sometimes I think about her but I don't dwell. That'll just drive you crazy and wild.

We sort of circled the city at first. I was really taken back at how big things had gotten. I didn't tell David this because I didn't want him to lose faith in me as a leader at this point. A few times I thought about how it was like everything that I knew when I moved into the apartment had been taken away from me now with all this new stuff that wasn't mine. I thought about how Celene must feel in this city. She doesn't really know anyone here. I've got friends and stuff but she's just got me really. She can't even speak English.

As I said before, you can't think about these things because they will just drive you crazy and wild. Still, I wonder where she is.

I told David that I was just warming us up first before I broke out of here. I didn't want to take any chances with an adventure of this scale. He didn't seem to really be in the mood right yet. I guess that's what the youth are about though, he's just waiting for the juicy bits. He just wants the bits that make you grow.

What he doesn't see though is that I'm full of juice. Most people don't care and just dismiss me. David's not like that but he still doesn't see what I'm trying to say and doesn't catch on to all this stuff that I've learned. I just want him to really catch on. There's so much stuff that I see and know about and he can't see it yet and most other people don't care.

As we rounded a corner onto an on-ramp I thought I saw Celene and slowed down a bit but I couldn't really make her out. We came back to that spot later but I couldn't see her again.

Friday, April 06, 2007

We've been sleeping in the car. It's okay like that.

"What are we doing?" David asked me. "Aren't we supposed to be doing something?"

His voice hinted at all sorts of needs and all it did was make me not want him to be talking. We're doing all sorts of stuff. I told him that we were looking for people. It's kind of like all the time except now we're in a car driving around looking for someone.

"Who are we looking for?" He asked me almost apologetically.

"Uhh... We're looking for Carolyn." I told him.

"Who's she?" He asked.

"Uhh... I don't know. She's.. She's someone I know." I said. "I haven't seen her in some time."

He sat back in his seat wrapped up in a bright red blanket. His eyes whittled holes in the street scenes we drove past. He'd pick something out of the crowd of objects all happening around us and track it down until we'd driven out of sight.

"Look, can't we just stop for a bit?" he asked almost apologetically. "Can't we not drive for a bit? I want to take a break."

"Do you want me to pull over, David?" I asked him.

"No. I don't mean just stop driving." He said. "I mean, can't we stop this whole thing for a little bit. Can't we do it later or something? I want to stop for a bit."

He didn't seem very desperate to actually not be here in the car with me. He was still quite relaxed and was still sunken into his seat cocooned in that blanket. I figured he might have just been testing me. I don't mean that he was checking to see if I really wanted this to happen. I don't think he's that clever. Or complex or whatever. I mean it in an innocent sort of way. I mean it like I think he just wanted me to tell him that it's okay. We're doing this together. I'm here for you.

"Can we pull over?" He asked me, a lot less calmly this time.

Sunday, April 08, 2007