The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Sunday, April 08, 2007

For easter David wanted to go out to a restaurant, but we couldn't find any that weren't really busy so we just ate in the car again.

Monday, April 09, 2007

"When are we going to do something?" David asked me. We were still just driving around the city. Sleeping in parking lots until something scary would happen and we'd leave, looking for a newer place to rest. It seemed like we weren't going anywhere, which is against the point of an adventure.

"A lot's happened David." I replied. "You just haven't been looking for it properly."

I don't think that was true. It's been boring.

"Where is everyone else?" He asked another one.

"Well," I replied. "Most people are busy all the time. I mean Moe's got a job. You can't just expect him to drop that. No matter how cool the adventure is going to be."

"What adventure?" He tried again. "You said we'd be more people. You said we'd be free."

It was a hard one to answer. The truth was that I thought it would be pretty cool just being me and him. he's the only person who respects me properly. The others are iffy. They're too old and tired. That's what happens.

"Well, I thought it would be better with just me and you." I told him. Honestly.

He didn't care. He sounded hungry.

"You said we'd be more. You said everyone was going to come!" He cried, hungry.

We were about to go find Carolyn. I think that's probably what the adventure is about. At least that's what the excuse was on my part. She's just dead without us. Not really living.

"Hey, David." I looked at him with a smile. "Relax, man. Why don't we meditate a bit? I'll get us someone."

"What do you mean?" He asked and calmed a bit.

"I'll get us someone. I promise." I wondered who exactly it was I would get. Everyone is really busy nowadays.

He shifted his weight so that he was fully facing his window. He stared objects down so they disappeared.

"Man, I forgot to take out my garbage!" I said excitedly. The thought of being so detached from my room filled my head. I was dizzied at all the days I had been gone.

David didn't reply.

"I guess it's okay though. It's Monday." I told him. "If we went back now to do it there wouldn't be any point. You can't put it out now because the trucks will only come pick it up next week."

David turned his head at me. He seemed surprised. "What?"

"It's Monday. They would have been round earlier today." I told him.

"Why wouldn't you be able to take it out now?"He asked me. He seemed somewhat intrigued. I don't know why.

"It's just stuff to do with hygiene and stuff. Nothing really." I told him. I didn't really care but I was glad that he wasn't being aloof.

"So, who do you want me to get?" I asked him. I sounded excited.

David shifted his weight back. He sat up from his seat. He looked out the window but didn't track anything down. He twisted his head back and smiling, almost stumbling declared, "I want Moe!"

I smiled back at him. I wanted Moe too.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

We picked up the landlord outside my apartment. He looked like a gangster waiting for a ride from a neighbouring gang. Is it trick? Is it going to turn into an ambush? I'll tell you what happened.

He got in and as as soon as he got in he let us know that he wasn't in the mood.

"Shark, what is this?" He asked me immediately.

I looked flabbergasted and moved my head as if I was looking around the car..

"It's an adventure." I told him sarcastically. I mouthed the words in a way that told him that he was a retard.

He didn't even smile.

"Get out, Shark." He said sternly. "Get out of the car. Tell the kid to go home."

"He doesn't want to go home!" I said back. "His parents treat him like dirt! We're running away!"

"I thought we were picking up Moe." David asked quietly. "Where is Moe?"

"Shark--" The landlord started but I cut him off by turning on the car and I drove.

I went.

"Shark, stop the car!" He shouted. "This has gone far enough!"

I turned my head and looked back at him.

"What?" I asked him calmly.

"Keep your eyes on the road!" He shouted.

"Oh, so now you want me to drive?" I asked him calmly.

"Jesus, Shark." He gave up. "Okay. Just... I thought you said you were never going to drive this car again."

"You know... It's just that...." I didn't know how to put it. "Remember how we always wanted to go on an adventure?"

"What?" He asked. "I never said anything like that."

"You promised that we would go on an adventure." I reminded him. "You said that we needed to."

"Shark, Why have you got the kid with you?" He looked at David. David kept looked back at him quickly but chose to stare at the road rather. It must have even awkward for him. The landlord just kept looking at him. Even when I told him that everyone else was busy. The landlord kept staring.

"Shark. Let the kid go home and we'll have an adventure of our own." He said.

He smiled at me and put his hand on my seat. I carried on driving. I think he noticed that I was just driving round the block. He wasn't freaking out anymore.

"Hey, you know what?" I said. "I forgot to take my garbage out. It's okay though. There was no point in coming back to take it out. It was Monday anyway."

He nodded.

"Because if I take it out on Monday it sits there the whole week because they already came that morning. Hey?" I said.

He nodded again. "Yes, Shark."

"I was going to come back and do it. It would have been pretty lame." I told him. "What and adventure: just drive around a parking lot for a weekend."

"Aye. That's true." He mumbled. "On Easter."

"What?"I asked him.

"Easter." He looked at me seriously. "I was away visiting the folks."

"With the grocery kid?" I asked him slightly upset.

"Shark, I told you not to call him that!" He got angry.

"That's what he is!" I told him.

"'What he is' is my brother, so you can keep your jokes to yourself." He said and quickly turned his head away from me. He looked out of the window.

There were a few moments of awkward silence.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Yeah, so the adventure was a splendid waste of time. We didn't find Carolyn. We didn't rescue her husband. We didn't meet up with Moe and everything works out. Nothing.

I blamed the landlord for a good deal of time yesterday. I made him make me supper and then he stayed for a bit and we watched TV. He didn't mind me making him make supper for me. He just laughed because he is nearly always making me supper. This is the first time I told him that he had to.

He asked if I wanted beans again and I said, "Yuck!"

I meant it too. That's pretty much the only thing that me and David ate the whole time. We had tuna too. And I took every tin of pre-made food that I had built up in my cupboard. But we ended up not eating that because tinned sausages are gross. Don't you agree?

The landlord got me a blanket because I fell asleep watching the sitcoms. He said, "It must have been quite an adventure for you, Sharky."

I smiled. I knew he couldn't see me smiling.

He never calls me Sharky. He thinks it's silly. He usually calls me Shark when he's emotional. Most of the time he doesn't call me by name and I don't call him by name. That's how we do it.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

"Where are all the beans?" I heard the landlord holler all the way from the next room.

I hollered, "I don't know! I'm watching TV."

He walked in with a sulk on his face, "Shark, where is all the food from yesterday? You're missing a lot of food."

I focused on the TV and did that thing where you make everything except for what you are looking at go blank. I looked at him and it all came back.

"I don't want to argue." I told him, maturely.

He didn't say anything.

He asked if I wanted to order out tonight.

"Why not?" He asked me.

"Why can't we order tonight?" He asked again. "You order every single week. Every Friday you order pizza. You order so much pizza that you can't even finish it. Why can't we order tonight. You don't even have any food."

I looked down guiltily. I wasn't really feeling guilty. I just wanted the landlord to get off my back.

"Shark, where are all your towels?" He asked. "What's going on here?"

I smiled at him, "Nothing."