The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Friday, November 28th 2008

I am so excited. I'm probably just as or even more excited that a young girl who is polishing off the last essay question on her History paper while simultaneously figuring out how every part of her life will be from now on – where she'll go, what she'll learn, who she'll love. Hers are the only rules that matter now. It's up to her whether she will win or whether life will win.

The landlord's mother was just like that, back in the day. I mean, yeah, she had two kids and the war had got her husband already, but she had all these plans anyway about where she'd go, what she'd learn and especially who she'd love. She'd heard about me from the kids, who always used to be coming round the place. I'd send them out to fetch some groceries or I'd sneak them into the movie house out on Riebeek Street and such. When she came round, I'd been living a bit rough for a few months. Celene and I had decided by then that it was best that she and the kid didn't exactly live with me any more. She was living in at the Abrahm's house, which she cleaned, and left me some money and food and maybe a treat in a basket every week or so, but it didn't really stretch very far. Anyway, the house was really untidy and I'd been drawing a lot and putting my pictures up everywhere and some of them were of her and it was quite dark inside and let's just say that she was pretty shocked when I opened the door and there I was. I let her in. She didn't say anything for a while and then,
“You've been living here?” she kept saying it and pronounced it differently every time. She said it in Afrikaans but I'm translating because nobody speaks Afrikaans anymore. She calmed down after a while and I got her in the kitchen and found her some rusks to eat. I would have given her a glass of water too but the water had been cut off. She chewed on a rusk or two before sighing and saying, “I can't believe they didn't tell me,” she said it in a tart voice and was talking about the landlord and the grocery kid. The kids. I figured that she wanted an explanation for where they kept disappearing to.
“I've been taking them to the movies,” I said, and added “And we have lunch here most days, when I've got it,” because she might also have been wondering why they might have seemed to have lost their appetites. I had it all covered. She cried a bit and when she'd stopped she told me in a stern voice that she was going to fetch some brooms and things and we were going to clean up my pad and then we were going to clean up my life. I said that I knew a young Japanese cleaning lady who could do that, probably, if we could pay her and she looked at me and I was apparently missing the point. While we cleaned up my kitchen she told me all about the future and how things were going to be. She was going to run a little bed and breakfast and have guests in all the time and go to Rhodesia for christmas and meet people and have all these friends and the kids would grow into such gentlemen and then she got angry with me and left. This was kind of a miniature version of our whole relationship from that point: cleaning up, talking big about our business, making awesome plans and then some emotions would happen and we'd be right back to square one.

It's going to be different with Sarah though. I'm going to drive her up to Plett. That's where all the kids go after they finish exams. It's a whole town full of young people expressing themselves and decompressing and listening to all sorts of new music. Her life is going to start there, I just know it. And so is mine.

Sunday, November 30th 2008

Sarah came over this morning. She looked ill and tired because she'd been drinking booze. “Big night last night, hey.” she kept saying, “And I'm still recovering from Friday!” We wondered what I'd be like if I drunk booze and got drunk. “God, Sharky, you'd be hilarious! I'd love to see you drunk! You'd be such a charmer, you'd hit on all the girls.” I said that I would never do that. I'm shy and they wouldn't like it because I'm fat.

“Don't be silly! There's nothing a girl loves more than a big, tall man to make her feel safe.” I suppose that it is true. I am pretty huge and I could fight someone if I wanted. Celene was really small. Still is. Maybe that's why she was into me.
“I think you should stop being silly, stop making excuses and get a girlfriend, Sharky! It'd be good for you, you could get this place all cleaned up.” I didn't know what to say to that. I want to keep myself open for when Sarah happens. Also, I was a bit hurt that she thought my room was so messy because I'd tidied it specially for her. “You could take out an ad,” she went on, “And put it up at the supermarket. I'll write it for you if you want, it'd be fun.” I stood up, shaking my head and it felt like things were getting out of control. I tried to reboot the conversation by going to make some tea. I started talking about Plett and how it was going to happen.

“We're going to need some tunes for the road!” she shouted into the kitchen. “Where are your tapes? I want to go through them and see what you've got.” I came out of the kitchen and made the face that said that she needed to come and help me bring the tea out. She got up very quickly and carried to tea back into my room and then she sat on the bed cross-legged and blew on her tea while I looked through my cupboard for some tapes. I gave most of my tapes away to the landlord when I got my computer. It was so funny – I used to go down to my car and sit in it whenever I wanted to listen to music. I didn't have anything else that could play tapes except my car. It feels so weird to remember those days when I didn't have music in my room whenever I wanted it. I only found two tapes in my cupboard – 'Monster Hits Volume 2' and 'Die Stellenbosch Universiteitskoor Performs The Best Of Celine Dion.” That last one was the landlord's. I was blushing.
“Sharky, I'm going to make you a mix-tape!” she was happy. “Lot's of mix-tapes. I'll burn them all to CD and use my dad's stereo to put them onto the tapes. I'll do it tonight. They'll be my tapes from me to you, okay? Each one will be a different combination that means something special.”
I have never looked forward to anything so much in my life.

“I'd better go now, I still haven't bought all the food yet. We'll need snacks for the trip too and oh, Sharky, thank you so so much for driving us up. I really don't think my mom wanted to do it. I don't think she really wants us to go at all but she can't stop us now. You're a life-saver.” she said, all at once almost. She'd hardly even touched her tea but she got up to leave. That's how girls punish guys who don't have enough good music.
“Wait,” I said, searching my brain and hers for reasons for her to stay. “Don't go. There's news. I want to tell you about it.” She slowed down and kind of folded up. She sat down on the bed. I was thinking so hard it hurt and I looked serious. “The landlord is thinking about selling this place.” I sad. Her eyes went wide and I could see one hundred separate sparkles inside.
“Oh Sharky, are you moving out?”
“I'll probably have to. They're going to develop it.” I said.
“Where will you go?”
“I don't know,” I thought about it for a while and then, “I'll have to start looking for a place that'll take me.” It worked pretty well. She didn't look like she was going to leave any more.
“Why is he going to sell it? Where's he going to go?” she said.
“I don't know,” I said again. “I guess he just doesn't care any more.” I stood there and didn't say anything. It was her turn. She could do the shopping later.
“Can't you talk to him, or – where are you going to go? What's he thinking?”
“It's not him. It's his wife. She's doing this.” Then I said, in a funny way, “She'd behind everything!” I showed that it was okay to laugh at this and Sarah laughed.
“So what are you going to do? Eat her?” she smiled.
“I'm going to break them up,” I said, smiling right back. “They're not strong when they're not teamed up with each other. We need to outnumber them.”
“I'll seduce him,” her voice was suddenly flat and dangerous. “I'll take pictures of us doing it and send them to her and she'd leave him and then the complex would be split into two useless halves that no one would buy.”
“That would work,” I said. It really would. I could see it happening in my mind. Sarah laughed. It was set.
“Thank you for sharing with me Sharky. I mean it. I'm not being sarcastic or anything.”
“I know,” I said. “You wouldn't do that.”
“You can get it all off your chest on the way up to Plett. We'll have lots of time to talk in the car. Right now though, I've got to get to the shops before they close.”
“How long will we be driving?” I asked.
“Sharky! Haven't you planned the route yet?” she said, getting up again and giving me a fake slap on the shoulder.
“I'll check it now!” I said, pretending to block and get scared. “I can handle it!”

Then she left. The grocery kid came in a bit later. He didn't say anything, just put the bags on the floor and then he left too. I think he thinks he's winning the invisible war.

Monday, December 1st 2008

Okay, I think I am so ready to do this. I've put all of the food that the grocery kid brought round into bin bags, I've raided my money stash and got R50 for petrol, I've showered twice, got the car all ready and I've turned on all the lights so the landlord won't notice I'm gone. So long as I don't run into him on the stairs, I will be going to Plett in a matter of minutes. Just me and Sarah for a week. Moe's not even coming. She's going to show me the beach. She's a woman now and when we get back, she's going to stop the landlord from taking my pad away.

Okay, I have to go right now.

Tuesday, December 9th 2008

I got in yesterday morning. There was kind of a confrontation with the landlord in the hallway that spilled out into today but that's not important right now.

Man,
Sarah.

Things started out pretty good. I ran downstairs with my bin bags and I didn't run into the landlord or anyone at all on the stairs. It was quite early in the morning, I suppose, so it made sense that there wasn't anyone around, but it was broad daylight and I was easy to see. I kept brave though and I made it to the garage, to the car. I sat inside and put my towels into the 'driving' configuration and I took a deep breath. Sarah's house, then Plett. I pressed the button to made the gate open and then I was gone. No matter how fast I went, I couldn't help but wonder how long it would take before the landlord or somebody noticed I was missing. Probably a little while since I don't tell anyone what my sleeping patterns are like, I thought, but it was hard to know for sure. I had considered taping some phrases that I would normally say and then leaving the tape running so that if people came looking for me they'd hear me telling them that I was ill or that I was in the bathroom or maybe hear me making snoring noises. That's what they do in the movies but then I thought that it probably wasn't very realistic. What if the person who'd come to check on me heard the noises but then hung around outside my door and heard the whole tape? As soon as it looped round, it would all be over. Also, I don't have a tape recorder.

So what happened was I got to Sarah's house and it was cool. She hugged me through the window and put all of her stuff in the trunk. There was a lot of stuff. I said this.
“I know hey, but I'm away for a whole week, Sharky!” she said, maybe a bit offended. I guess she was right. There were clothes and food and all sorts of things that you'd need if you were away from home. I think a lot of people take it for granted just how much stuff it takes to keep someone alive and happy. She sat in the front seat and breathed happily and handed me a tape. It had my name on it and around it were all these patterns that she'd drawn. It was a mix-tape. “I only had a chance to make one but it's a very special one. I was thinking of you the whole time I was making it.” I didn't say anything but my face told her how excited I was. The could feel the patterns she'd drawn moving delicately against my skin as I put the tape into the player. I didn't recognise the music that came out but it sounded exactly like those same patterns running through Sarah's mind. I would have absorbed the whole thing right there outside her house but then she said, “We should get going. I told my parents that I was getting a lift up with Nicole” she wriggled a bit and then, “My mom said we couldn't go if there were going to be any men about.” I started the car. Parents just don't know what's going on with people. And you'd think that they'd know more about people than any other type because they've spent their whole lives trying to turn their kids into the kind of people they like. Things just don't make sense sometimes.

We drove on towards the highway, listening to her-mix tape, silently unravelling the thoughts that were behind each and every song. We were both totally cool with each other. But then just before we got onto the highway she said, “Hey, don't go here, we need to pick up Nicole first.” Then she showed me the way to Nicole's house and we went there. I didn't know that I was supposed to be picking up Nicole but it was apparently the plan the whole time and anyway, Nicole was cool. She'd been briefed on the whole shark thing beforehand so she didn't bring it up or get weird or shy or ask dumb questions. She wasn't as attractive as Sarah and she was a little bit fat but it was fine because she smiled a lot and wore exotic clothes. She also brought a lot of stuff and the trunk got so full that some of her stuff had to sit in the back with her. She just smiled and her and Sarah got all silly and giggly for a bit because they were so happy go be going to Plett and to be alive and free and girls. I was happy too and the mix-tape was telling us all kinds of emotions, three of which were probably just synonyms for 'happy.' Then Sarah stopped that, looked up and said, “Turn right here. We're going to pick up Clar at her boyfriend's house.” It actually took quite quite a while to get to Clar (Clara)'s boyfriend's house, which was all the way out in Oranjezicht and there wasn't really any way to get there and back on track efficiently but I didn't want to waste time because Clar was waiting for us and her boyfriend had already gone to work and she kept calling Sarah up and saying she was alone.

The first problem was that Clar also had a lot of stuff to put in the car but there wasn't enough space for her and the stuff too. We had to repack everything we had already packed so it would all fit together better. I couldn't really help much but I crouched by the car and told them where the things should go. It didn't work though, no matter what we did. Some of the stuff needed to go. They unpacked everything and tried to decide what they could leave at Clar's boyfriend's house. It took a while and there was nearly an argument about what should and should not go in the ice-box but then they pulled together as a team and did what was best for everyone. They left behind some clothes, the bottles of Coke (because they could buy that there) and Clar's boyfriend's hubbly-bubbly.

The second problem was that we were nearly out of petrol. I'd meant to fill up the car before I'd left in the morning but I'd had too much to do and never got round to it. I didn't know where the petrol stations were in Oranjezicht and I didn't want to bring it up because the girls were all talking and getting excited about the places in Plett that they'd heard were cool and Clar was talking about the place we were going to stay in. It belongs to a family friend and it has a sliding door that goes out onto the stoep and a braai pit and a pretty big pool, though they'd have to take the cover off first. Sarah said that she didn't need the pool with its chemicals when the beach was right there and then she turned, tapped me and said, “Sharky, why are we going around in circles?”
“I'm looking for a petrol station,” I said. “I don't come out here very often.” My hands were shaking on the wheel of the car. I was getting a bit freaked out, to tell you the truth. The car felt so different with all the people and stuff weighing it down. I couldn't see out the back window and I was so scared someone was going to crash into us. I was scared that the girls would all die and it would just be me and I'd go to prison. I could see the landlord's face. He shook his head so softly as they slammed the cell door shut.

Clar told me some directions to get us to a big Engen station. The girls got out but I stayed in the car. There were too many people around and I just needed to take five before I got back on the road. I gave Sarah my R50 to give to the petrol kid and she took it, waited a sec and said, “Is that it?”
“How much does petrol cost?” I asked. Everyone had to dig in their wallets and spend their Plett money and run to the cash machines and they really didn't like that. Clar was the worst. First she accused me of having more money (I didn't) then she pretended that she didn't have any money (she did) then she finally gave up and stomped over to the cash machine and they all paid to fill up my tank. It cost over six hundred rand. I knew that petrol had gone up and it is a seven hour journey to Plett but that is a lot of money. The landlord hasn't really let me have more than R100 at a time since I paid Moe to make him come round the last time. He keeps bringing that whole thing up. It's in the past!

I didn't say anything while all this was going on. I was trying to look as small and inconspicious in the front seat as possible. It was broad daylight and there were too many people. The petrol kid kept tapping on my window and trying to get me to look at him. I don't think he quite understood that the girls were paying for my petrol and that they were splitting it evenly between them and they had to keep going back to the cash machine and that's why he wasn't getting it all at once. Eventually things got less confusing, the money all came in and it calmed down outside so the girls came back into the car. They had bought snacks and juice and sweets. Sarah was the only one who offered me some of hers, but maybe that was because she was sat in the front. Even though I don't think it's a huge effort to lean over and maybe offer me something nice. The ride was quiet for a long while after that. I didn't even play the mix-tape. Sarah asked me why while we were on the N2.
“I'm saving it.” I said and I did a smile but it wasn't true. That mix-tape was for me. It was personal and I didn't want people like Clar to hear it and maybe tease us for having a better understanding of people and the world.

Man, I don't know if you've ever driven for seven hours before but it is tough. I got really hot under my towels because the sun was out and I took a few of them off when we got onto the wide open road. The road wasn't like the American road that you see on TV. This road is dangerous and covered in fear. The landlord has told me lots of stories he heard on the radio about gangs and township people, of kids who drop kids off of walkways right onto your windshield and kill you, of guys who pretend to be ill / wounded to get you to stop and help and then their friend gets you, of witchdoctors who turn your parts into medicine for magic – I'd heard all it about so even though I was scared, I was prepared. I kept an eye out for everything. If anyone was lying in the road, I would go right around them. I didn't get this far to be tricked. Nothing happened though, which is cool. When we did stop, it was at a designated safe area where we could get ice-cream lollies and put a coin in a machine to feed some ostriches. One place had a pig. I don't think I've ever seen a real pig or an ostrich before, but now I have. Not up close, really, since I stayed in the car – but I could definitely see them and watch as the girls fed them corn and seeds. There weren't nearly so many people around as there had been in the city but the sun was really strong and I didn't want to get burnt so that's why I didn't go out. I think I hate sunburn worse than anything.

The emotions thawed a bit after a few more hours on the road. I didn't say much, I mostly listened to their conversations and concentrated on the road ahead. I think that after a while they'd forgiven me for not bringing enough petrol money and they brought me bit-by-bit back onto the team again by asking me questions – polite questions, not dumb ones – about my life and what I'd been up to. I told them a few stories about Celene and the landlord's mother and the time I got shot and how the grocery kid has started putting the shopping on the floor rather than on the counter or the table where it would be more convenient and what Japan was like just after the war. Those are some of my best stories, I would say. I told them how I'd met Sarah – how she'd shouted funny things up at my room while I was playing Burzum quite loud. I said that I don't listen to Burzum anymore and that I'm into Leonard Cohen now and they liked that and congratulated me. I was doing quite well up to that point. Then Sarah said, to her friends as well as to me, just as a way to keep the conversation going,
“Sharky's lived in that building for so long – he's become a legend, or like a Roman house-god.” I liked that idea. If you think about it, most gods you hear of are really from outer space, like me.
“Do people talk about me?” I asked. This was kind of a strange thing to think about. I don't like the thought of people talking about me while I'm not there to correct them if they're wrong maybe, but then I liked being called a house-god.
“A lot of the old grannies do,” she said, “I've been asking around.” I don't think the landlord would be happy about that. “Discretely, Sharky! Don't worry! Your landlord's such an old fusser anyway.” I nodded. He is old and weird. “Most of them think you're some kind of ghost, that you died years ago, or you're just some urban myth they heard their parents talk about. A lot of the people I asked remember that there was a statue or a mural of a shark in the courtyard and that's how the story got started. You don't know any of this?”
“There was never a statue or anything like that,” I said.
“Well anyway, you're a little bit famous. Even the people who live in the other houses on the street know about your building and the stories about it. It's like you -are- the building, like its spirit or something.”
“And now the landlord's going to kick me out!” I said it too quickly. I meant it as a joke, I meant to mean that I was cool with it and it was a funny old world but I have a plan, but I said it too quickly.
“Oh Sharky, I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring that up -”
“No, it's cool,” I said. “We've got a plan,” then I turned to Sarah's friends in the back. “Sarah's going to fuck the landlord and make him divorce his wife,” I said, smiling. “That'll put a cramp in his plans!” Her friends didn't smile back. I looked at Sarah and she had a serious face on. She almost spoke and then stopped. Clar opened her mouth and said, “Uuhhh” slowly and sarcastically. Sarah found some words in her mouth. They were:
“That was a joke. We were joking when we said that, Sharky. You understand that, don't you?”
“No, but we've got to get him away from his wife, remember?” I said. Clar started doing her “Uuhhh” again then said,
“Yeah Sarah, this guy's really sweet once you get to know him. He's not nearly as creepy as he looks, or acts, or is.” Sarah said nothing. Nicole said nothing. I never wanted to say anything again. Clar had lots to say. She wanted to go home all of a sudden even though that was totally unreasonable and we'd come all this way already. She said I had to stop the car and she made it seem like she was really serious. I did it. I stopped the car and Clar got out and pretended to hitch-hike even though she didn't have any of her bags or anything so Sarah got out, closed the doors behind her, ran over and touched her arm and spoke loudly and quickly to her for a while and Clar did the same back and waved her cell phone around threateningly and I tried to hide right there in the front seat and hope nobody looked or pointed at me and Nicole just stared out the window at nothing while she chewed on her hair.

It felt like a long time before they got back into the car. Sarah was the one who looked in control of the situation and I was glad about that. Clar fell into the back seat and didn't look at me and I was glad about that too.
“Okay,” said Sarah, looking ahead and flattening her fringe down with both hands.
“Drive.” said Clar, sound like she was bored of everything already even though she'd started it. I put on the mix-tape and started the car. We didn't talk again except for directions until the end. When the mix-tape stopped, I turned it over and played it again. It was all we had left.

Wednesday, December 10th 2008

The landlord:
“I've been calling you. I left messages on your phone,” he said.
“I've been writing my blog,” I said. It's hard work and it means I'm busy.
“Where have you been?” he tried to say it calmly but he was angry. “You were gone all week. Have you been with that girl?”
“I took her to Plett.” I said. He covered up his face with his hands.
“Jesus.” Was all he said for a long while. Then he left.

I don't know why he gets so worried like that. I mean, I'm fine. Plett didn't kill me. And Sarah had a nice time too. That's what's important. I think he's just sore because he hasn't been anywhere nice since he came back from Japan an that was over maybe thirty years ago. Maybe if he didn't worry so much I would have taken him with me when I went out with David, or with Moe, or with Sarah, even though he wouldn't have fit in the car in the case of Sarah and was always so awkward and mean to Moe. I think a lot of it is to do with my car and the fact that he doesn't have one and I do and that he used to be really into my car and all sorts of cars and then just stopped and gave up. I don't have to give up too, you know?

So I haven't finished the story yet and I'd better do that. We got to Plett and we found the house that belonged to Clar's father's friend and it was dark already. We'd taken more than seven hours to get there. Everyone kept telling me I was driving too slow. The girls got out the car and sighed a lot of sighs and stretched and unpacked the car and got everything inside. I felt a lot more comfortable in the dark and in a private driveway with a big wall and everything so I got out the car and I hurt everywhere. Sarah came up to me.
“I need a little lie down,” I said, “I've got to have a rest.” She looked at the others. Nicole and Clar looked up from the things they were carrying.
“Where are you going to go?” she asked.
“Well, where's my room?” Nicole and Clar were looking at me hard now. I tried to turn my head so I could look into the house but it hurt too much and I nearly fell down.
“Sharky, you don't have a room here,” she said, sadly.
“I thought I was going to stay here,” I said and I sat back down in the car seat. Nicole and Clar went into the house and shut the door. I couldn't see what was going on in there. I stared for a while then said, “I could sleep on the kitchen floor.”
“It would be weird, Sharky.” she said. I lay down across the front seat. You can't do that with today's cars. “The plan was,” she offered, “The plan the whole time as that you'd meet us back here on Sunday and we'd all go home together.” I didn't say anything. I wanted to sleep. I was so hungry. “I told you the plan, Sharky. I told you.” she was getting dangerously upset. I sat up and started the car.
“Okay. See you on Sunday.” I said. I drove off around the corner, far enough so she couldn't hear the car stop and I lay down again, this time in the back seat. I knew that if I could just stop being tired and sore then I'd be able to figure out what to do. I pulled my towels over me and covered myself as best I could and went to sleep.

When I woke up a few hours later, I had two things on my mind. I don't know if I had a dream or something that made me think it, but I had the idea that Moe was there in Plett too. Maybe I had heard his voice while I slept. There was a house party going on near to where I had parked. Maybe he was in there. The other thing I was thinking about was how hungry I was. The girls had taken all of their food with them and I'd eaten a lot of my food on the drive up. I still had my R50 in the glove compartment since the had paid for the petrol. That could pay for a pizza, but I didn't know where you bought pizza in Plett. I drove around for a bit, looking for a pizza, but all I saw were houses, houses and more houses. I didn't find any pizza but I did find a little supermarket service station that was open late. I thought of how funny it would be if a shark (me) walked right through the doors and just went and bought R50 of groceries like it was totally normal. The people in there would just freak out. I started laughing to myself there in the car as I imagined the faces of everyone inside and I tried to imagine what they'd say. Most of them pretended to act like it was no big deal but I could see their eyes bulge and them turning to co-workers and co-customers to ask what was going or if they're filming a TV advert or what. Some people just freaked out or got scared and shouted, but they were easy to ignore because they were nothing and I'm bigger than them and this time there was no landlord to complain to. There was one guy though, right at the back of the store who was cool and he wasn't faking it. Shark. No big deal. He'd come all the way up here to Plett in secret so that he could have the time of his life. Yeah, I think you know who this person is. “Moe.” I said to him. “How's it going?”
“Everything's fine.” he said.
“I'm here with a bunch of girls,” I said. “Sarah's one of them. Are we cool with that.”
“Yeah, we're cool.” he said. Then he showed me the best groceries to buy and we ate it all in my car. So then I decided to stop imagining it and go and actually do it – shark in a grocery store – but then this kid walked by and I flagged him down.
“Hello?” he said.
“Hey, uh, I don't want to leave me car. Could you go buy me some food?” I said. I waved the R50 out of the window. He was kind of suspicious. “I look pretty weird,” I explained. “I'm not feeling up to it.” That's a good one to use. The kid took the money.
“What do you want?” the kid said.
“Just buy the best food you see.” I said. He went into the store and I realised what a bad idea it would have been to have gone inside myself. Not everyone is like Moe. Not everyone gets it. Most people are more like Clar and just want to hurt you because they think you're going to get their stuff or their friends. I got kind of anxious waiting for the new grocery kid to come back so I put on Sarah's mix-tape. When the kid came back, he wrinkled up his face. He did this because he wanted me to know that he didn't like the music.
“Here's your food, man.” he said and he passed it through the window. It wasn't a lot of food, just some chips, a couple of pies and a cooldrink.
“There's not a lot of food here,” I said. “I gave you fifty rand.”
“Yeah, it's expensive in there man.” he said and then he patted the car on the roof and walked away. I drank the cooldrink first because I was so thirsty. Then I did the pies and saved the chips till last. As I did this I looked around the parking lot so I could get my directional bearings. I wanted to know which way I'd have to go to get home. Then I looked at my petrol meter and I realised that I didn't have enough petrol to get home and I didn't have enough money to buy any more petrol. I thought about that while I finished the chips. I couldn't go back to Sarah's because I wasn't expected back until Sunday. I opened the car door and looked around to see if the new grocery kid was still there and could help me maybe. He was gone. I felt thirsty again.

Guys, I spent a week in Plett on my own. And you know, it really wasn't that hard. Most of the time I just waited. Being in my car isn't so different from being at home, only I don't have the internet in my car and I missed that. I had lots of thoughts that would have made great blogs but they're gone now. The food I'd brought with me didn't last very long because when you're waiting around you get pretty bored and food is something to do. It was all gone by the third day and then all I had to do was to drive around from place to place. I think I saw just about all of Plett. I drove down to the beach, I tried to see a whale but didn't, I drove from one lagoon to the next and up and down the N2 and over to the museum. Everywhere I went there were young people smiling and talking to each other and playing all their music. When I heard them playing their music I would put on my mix-tape really loud and then act like I wasn't doing anything and would just stare straight ahead. Usually they went somewhere else but sometimes they would shout out and tell me that the music was nice or cool. It was good to hear that. It's good to know that Sarah has her finger on the pulse.

On the fourth day I got so hungry that I almost threw up. I knew that I couldn't throw up because that would just make me more hungry and it'd spiral out of control so I drove around looking for food. Pretty quickly I had a great idea – I'd drive around to people's houses and look for bin bags that had been put outside or go around the backs of restaurants and I'd get out the car when nobody was looking and put the garbage in the back seat of my car and drive away somewhere safe, like out by the trail. Then I'd look through the bag for stuff to eat. It wasn't as disgusting as you might think because a lot of the garbage was fresh and besides I could smell it a mile off if there was something really gross inside. The downside is that you have to go through a lot of garbage before you get a meal, but I really liked learning about people's lives through their garbage. I felt like a detective. I tried to find out who was a spy and who was just a regular cool person. When I woke up on Saturday I was actually pretty excited to get back to the garbage-collecting game. It got harder and harder as time went by though because I was using up all the town's garbage and Plett isn't a very big place. By Saturday night there weren't really any more good places to look for garbage bags that I could think of. I was too tired and worn out on Sunday to even try so I just waited in the car until I thought it was a good time to go back to Sarah's house. I hadn't taken any garbage from their house at all. It wouldn't have been right. Nobody was in when I went over there so I just waited in the car until she came by. I was so good at waiting by that point that I didn't even notice when it got dark. When I saw Sarah the world began again.
“Oh my god Sharky, what happened to you?” she said when she ran up to my car. Nicole was with her but she didn't come so close. There was no sign of Clar.
“Nothing,” I said.
“Are you okay?” she said.
“I've come to pick you up. Are you ready?” I said. My hands were shaking but that didn't make any sense because it was Sarah and we were comfortable with each other. I made it look like I was tapping the steering wheel in time to the mix-tape.
“Sharky, I've been trying to call you but the phone just rang and rang. I thought you were angry with me.” I shook my head. I focused on her eyes but it was hard to see. “Listen, Clar called her dad and he said that it's okay if we stay on for another few days...” she looked like she was going to say more but then she stopped talking, got right close to the window and stared at me. It was hard to see her when she got close. “Sharky, you look terrible.”
“I don't have any money to get home.” I had to force my voice to get it out. Sarah looked at me for a long time then looked inside the car. She turned to Nicole.
“Nikky, can you drive an old car like this?” she said. “I think we have to go tonight.”

Sarah fetched some food and some water and she got all of her stuff and Nicole's stuff and put it in the trunk and in the back seat with me. Nicole drove and they both paid for petrol. Clar stayed at her house and put some new friends in it and they said that she had arranged a lift home with some other people. Nicole wasn't very happy at first and complained a lot about the smell in this voice but when I woke up one time in the night and made a noise she turned around and smiled at me and asked me how I was doing. I said that I felt a lot better and that she was so beautiful. She laughed at that but not in a bad way. I was so happy to be there on the back seat with Sarah and Nicole leading the way and taking me home. When we got there it was early in the morning and the girls rubbed their eyes and walked back to Sarah's house. They said that they'd be back later for their bags and stuff. I got up the stairs and I met the landlord in the hallway just outside my door. He looked dead and I think he was thinner than before. He wanted to know everything but I really didn't feel like talking. I went inside and I went in the shower for a while and then everything was back to normal. Sarah and Nicole came round for their stuff later on in the day and they were nice but they didn't stop to chat.

So that was my week in Plett. I think that I've learned a lot more about myself and the kind of music that is cool and I guess I know now that Sarah really does care for me. I've thought a lot about my life and what's going to happen and I think it's going to turn out okay. I'm going to talk to the landlord tomorrow and we're going to sort everything out. I never realised how much stuff had come up between us until I removed myself from the situation and then came back to it. I've got a whole new perspective on everything now. It's all fresh and I'm going to keep it going. It makes me smile just thinking about it. Good night.