The Ancient Shark Of Despair's blog

Thursday, January 04, 2007

So, I probably gave it away with the title, but I looked up "peedo" on the internet. It means "child". Actually "ped" or "pedo" mean child. The way it is spelt on my wall is wrong.

Okay. So someone thinks I am a child? Not likely. My guess is that someone thinks that I am either childish or kidding. I'm inclined to think that they meant kidding. I asked the landlord if he thought I was joking right now. I looked him in the eyes as seriously as I could. I definitely wasn't joking.

"Do you think I am kidding? Right now."

He looked around my room and fixed his eyes on my computer. I repeated myself.

"Do you think this is a joke?"

He licked his lips and put his hands on his hips. His stare was now fixed on me.

I think he won at this point because I didn't carry on. I actually pretended that I was joking the whole time. I did this by laughing lightly and turning around at the same time. I then went onto MySpace.
9:03 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

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User comments

love the box of angelwolf


don't you find typing is difficult
what with your fins and all

Posted by love the box of angelwolf on Thursday, January 04, 2007 at 9:38 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Come on, dude. I've been alive for a really long time.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Friday, January 05, 2007 at 1:19 PM

chu tu


you seem to find your presence on myspace
very funny

Posted by chu tu on Thursday, January 04, 2007 at 10:37 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Maybe not funny? Maybe interesting? Maybe fascinating?

Indeed.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Friday, January 05, 2007 at 1:07 PM

Friday, January 05, 2007

Hey guys.

It's been a pretty good day. I've just been chilling at my pad. The landlord has been spending a large amount of time here. He mainly just watches TV with me. We watch a lot of gameshows and sitcoms. Mainly sitcoms though. I really enjoy the surrealism that you get after watching them for six hours straight. You can't even talk after that. One of us turns off the TV and then we just sort stand up and look around.

I was a bit high off the surrealism.

"We should go on an adventure. A real one. You're always saying how you need to do something with your life."

I knew this was a sensitive topic for the landlord. He doesn't have anything except for his job. When I fired him, he said that he realised that he was dependent on me. He said he had never seen that before.

"You haven't got anything except for this job. We should go out and explore."

He looked strained. He hadn't been sleeping well. He keeps telling me. He blames it on the TV shows.

"Shark. You haven't left the flat in decades. You're not ready. You're not going to be ready, either."

I was very hurt.

"It's not safe, Shark."

I stood there for a few seconds. Just looking around. I thought about how the kid would never let me go outside alone. He also used to say it was dangerous.

I sat down and turned the TV back on. There was a show on about cowboys. They were on some adventure. The one had just been shot. I was hoping that the landlord would catch the irony, but he had already walked away.

1:28 PM

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User comments

Arbot


I hermitted away for a couple years, but I OD'ed on coke, theology, mushrooms, and philosophy one night and I dont enjoy my own company much anymore.

Posted by Arbot on Friday, January 05, 2007 at 9:08 PM

chu tu


i think that sounds like a winning combination!

Posted by chu tu on Friday, January 05, 2007 at 9:10 PM

Arbot


So did I, but that night was the first time I saw the wisdom of moderation

Posted by Arbot on Friday, January 05, 2007 at 9:21 PM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Sometimes I eat too much pizza and I want to throw up. I never actually do throw up though. Throwing up is disgusting.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Sunday, January 07, 2007 at 12:09 AM

Saturday, January 06, 2007

I've always had this story I've tried to tell you guys. It's about this band that don't actually play music. They have these gigs where they set up the whole night. They pay for the halls and invite a whole bunch of people. They don't actually play music though. I've been meaning to post it, but I can never write it right.

Oh well.

The story shows how music could evolve.

It also shows how these kids can afford to be part of the evolution of music because they are rich. There is a character in the story who is this poor cleaner guy. He falls in love with the idea of what they are doing and joins the band. He gets kicked out of his own community for not working and earning money like he should. It's pretty rough. But he believes in this idea. He understands what the kids are doing.

Also, the audience never get it. And they are all rich kids. So, it's pretty rough, which really shows how you gotta look at evolution and stuff. It's all pretty merciless. Especially if you're poor.

11:33 PM

Sunday, January 07, 2007

I saw the Shark of Wisdom today. I was watching out of the window for the kid next door. The landlord said he thought I was making it up. I know that he is in the country. It was no surprise that he hadn't visited me until now. He doesn't have a good sense of people.

The landlord and I were watching TV and I said I was going to take a break. I moved over to the window and put my eye to the gap between the curtain and the wall.

The landlord turned his head after a while and tapped my shoulder.

"What are you doing over there?"

I wasn't in any rush to answer.

"I'm just watching the world." I said.

"Is that kid out there again?" His voice was soft.

He wasn't out there, though something caught my eye in the road.

He was so tall. He wore dark long hair.

I don't know if he ever really tried to impart wisdom onto us. He was always so reluctant, he hardly seemed to care. It was his duty to teach us. This was when we were still on the way to Earth.

He walked by without even looking at the window.

3:40 PM

Monday, January 08, 2007

Current mood: creative

Okay, everybody. First of all, I think it's great that you've all been reading my blog and making comments about my life. I like to think that me sharing my life with you is a way to make it more valuable. Also, I think historians will find it very interesting. I'll probably still be around when historians start going through the internet, so I'll be able to fill them in on stuff I left out and answer any questions they might have. I'm looking forward to it quite a lot.
All that was cool for a while, but I've had a lot of time to myself recently to just chill and think stuff through. Also, there have been a lot of poets around here, and some of them are from Canada/America. I've decided that I want to start showcasing some of my writing and more of my art. I'm talking fiction, not just stuff that happens to me and my friends.

I told the landlord a few days ago the story about the European King that I told you guys a while back. He liked it, but he wanted to know what happened to the European King after he invented music on all those levels. I wanted to tell him, but there was so much in my head that I couldn't get it out in the space of just one sentence or two. I wanted to tell him everything at once. I made a mess of it and he didn't understand what I was saying. I think I can undo this mistake on Myspace.

What I'm saying is, I'm going to set up a European King Myspace blog, just like this blog. It's going to tell the whole story about the European King and his feelings, as well as his friends and the adventures he gets up to. It is going to be an epic, so it will probably go on for fifty years or so. I'm going to give you guys the first blog right now, in my blog.

-------------The Saga Of The European King--------------
------------------Part 1-----------------
-----------------It is Winter-------------------

The European King looked out over his Kingdom, and he liked what he saw. What he saw was everyone at peace, just doing their thing. It was a good time for the European Kingdom, because they had no enemies that would dare to stand against its King. He was very formidable in the Politics Forum and the battlefield, and they were scared of that. They had also heard that he had spent a good deal of time living in the wild, and had once ripped off a man's jawbone because he wanted to know how it felt. He was aware of this and liked it.
But then the King's satisfaction turned upside down because he saw something that made him very angry. From his window, he saw one of his loyal subjects shivering in the snow and being cold. The loyal subject had paid his taxes on time, every time, had fought bravely to repel invaders whenever there was an attack on the Kingdom and had been a close childhood friend of the King and sent him handmade cards on every birthday.

'Why?' thought the King. 'Why should anyone in my European Kingdom be cold and shiver so while I am King?' He then got tired of thinking it and just bellowed it out the window so everyone could hear. It made the news that night. The funny part is that even though the town crier, whose job it was to bellow at people, tried to repeat it as best he could, even he couldn't bellow as good and hard as the King did out of his window when he saw what Winter did to his people.
The King called a council of all his governors and best men. They all sat in the Grand Hall, though something was wrong. The fires of the Hall were not lit, and there wasn't hot tea to drink or steaming pig-meals for them to eat. They were cold in the Grand Hall and they weren't used to that. Also, the King took his time in coming in to the Grand Hall himself, and it would have been rude for them to start talking before he got there, so everyone had to wait in the cold. This made them feel the cold more.

Just then, the King burst through the truly immense doors that led to the Grand Hall. He was followed by dozens of little guys bringing torches and gas heaters and big, hot meals and lots of kettles full of tea. They were well organised, because they had rehearsed this, so everyone was incredibly warm and toasty within seconds. Before any of the King's governors and advisors could do or say anything, the King leapt up on the table and bellowed, 'That's what we're going to do!'
Everyone was confused. They didn't know what the King was talking about. No one talked like this in Medieval Europe. They asked, as one, 'What? What are we going to do?'
'We're going to kill Winter!' replied the King.

Everyone gasped.

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I think that even though historians are going to be picking over my blogs for centuries to come, this will be the thing they will remember me for. In the history books (actually, they will be disks) I will be down as, "The Ancient Shark Of Despair. Saved humanity from an evil comics company. Wrote the epic 'The Saga Of The European King.' Wrote a blog on Myspace. Had many friends who were cool to just hang out at his pad. Loved dearly by his ex-wife and son."

6:24 PM

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User comments

o.OmaxiO.o


kill winter with a giant hosepipe of earl grey and breakfast tea. do it.

Posted by o.OmaxiO.o on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 at 1:48 AM

Arbot


Somtimes I like winter, I'm glad he's over there in Europe.

Posted by Arbot on Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 3:02 AM

The Ancient Shark Of Despair


Well, that's your business. I suppose that in Medieval times, the European Winter had much more blood on his hands than the Canadian / American Winter. There weren't any people in Canada / America, so the Canadian / American Winter was more like a hunter or a sportsman, while the European Winter was a mass murderer and had to be stopped.
Maybe I'll write a story where the European King goes into the future (now) and sees how bad the Canadian / American Winter has gotten, and sets out to kill him, too. His partners could be a black cop on his first day of work who used to be a stand-up comedian; a sexy nurse who is also sad about something in her past, a lumberjack who is also a werewolf and, of course, Gappy his reindeer. But the reindeer is now part cybernetic, because it is the future.

Posted by The Ancient Shark Of Despair on Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 11:02 AM

Arbot


OK, I can deal with the loss of winter if theres going to be cybernetic reindeer.

Posted by Arbot on Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 2:40 AM

Speak up! My ears are overflowing alphabet soup


I think what you should do is: you should write a book or something. Or get a book and scribble on the edges. Anyway, I want to hear more about this European King. There could be an evil peasant who feeds off the bodies of frozen peasants who can be the king's nemesis. He can be slippery and impossible to catch. The king could deploy some special unit to catch him but only the kings son catches the rascal by some majestic twist of fate. I'd like to read that. I'd like to see how it ends up.

Murray

Posted by Speak up! My ears are overflowing alphabet soup on Friday, January 12, 2007 at 3:48 PM