Post details: John Wayne vs the liberals
John Wayne vs the liberals
Dr.Laura was prattling on during her Radio Show about the latest Keanu Reeves movie. Keanu Reeves had made a scene-for-scene remake of The Quiet Man. He had put as much energy into an early 20th century Pittsburgh Accent as John Wayne had.
"The Liberals are trying to take our movies. They hate america. This is Marxism" said Dr.Laura. Soon Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh got in on it. Before you knew it, the Republicans had taken over congress again. They lowered taxes so much that John Wayne flew down out of the sky alive and well! He was as fit and charismatic as he was at the age of 45!
John Wayne got right to work making movies again. His movies did poorly. John Wayne was despondent and brooding over this at a fancy hotel bar somewhere. Suddenly he was approached by a fiercely charismatic Korean. It was Reverend Moon Dung Sun! Reverend Sun wanted to finance a new John Wayne movie! "John Wayne! I want to pay you 15 million dollars to make a movie. We have to make a modern movie!" said Reverend Sun.
"What does it take to have a modern movie?" said John Wayne.
"It has to have titties!" said Reverend Sun.
"Titties!?" said John Wayne.
Soon the movie was under production. They had gotten Michael Bay to direct it. After production wrapped, John Wayne and his manager and Reverend Moon were at the fancy hotel bar. Reverend Moon handed John Wayne the check for $15,000.000.00 dollars.
"Where'd you get all this money, Reverend Sun?" said John Wayne.
"I've got deals going on all over town. We've spent over a billion dollars on newspapers and real estate in America" said Reverend Sun. He was fierce and masculine, like a Korean VIP.
"But where does the money come from?" said John Wayne.
"Oh. We just write in the numbers in the banks over in Korea. then we transfer the funds to America."
"Is that real?" said John Wayne.
John Wayne's manager spoke up. "It is real when it gets here. Relax. you've got 15 million dollars. just sell the right ideas."
The movie premiere soon arrived. important people gathered to view the movie. It was a great modern movie! there were vehicle chases, crashes, machine guns, explosions, fast camera angle changes. John Wayne's character used all the best modern dialogue! "fuck you and die!" said John Wayne as he broke one of the Henchman's arm! "Yippie kie ay, mother fucker!" said John Wayne's character as he threw his opponent off a building and dropped a hand grenade on him. Near the end of the movie, several women ran towards his character. They all wanted his attention but he could not talk fast enough to answer each of them. they got jealous of each other and desperate for John Wayne Character's favor! So they ripped their shirts off! "Put away those titties!" said John Wayne's character. and credits rolled!
